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- – THEA WRITING REVIEW –
change in library privileges since democracy has failed, serves as a cohesive bridge between Part 3 and Part 4.
and no one is voting anyway?” None of the other answer choices does so. Choice a is
not consistent with the author’s audience—an educa-
tional textbook—because the first person I is used.
Sample Purpose Question
Read the passage below, written in the style of an intro- Choices c and d mention completely different topics
ductory anthropology textbook. Then answer the ques- related to anthropology instead of contributing to a
tion that follows. general overview of the science of anthropology, which
is the writer’s purpose.
(1) Anthropology is generally considered to be a If you find that you have several purposes for
social science that interprets and describes the devel- writing an essay, rank them in importance, and keep
opment and cultural interactions of humans. (2) the main purpose as your overall goal. Each of your
However, some scholars have dubbed it a behav- purposes should enhance each other and not detract
ioral science. (3) This is because anthropology stud- from each other. In addition to knowing and main-
ies the individual in her or his culture. (4) This study taining your purpose in writing, you need to know
of humans is constantly changing because humans who your audience is.
are constantly changing.
A udience
1. Which of the following sentences, if added
between Parts 3 and 4 of the paragraph, would
be most consistent with the writer’s purpose and The audience for your writing is closely tied into your
intended audience? purpose for writing. If your purpose is to persuade
a. Margaret Mead was a prominent and influen- readers to do something, you need to know who your
tial anthropologist whom I deeply respect. readers are. That way, you can specifically target your
b. Regardless of what type of science anthropol- message to that audience. For example, if your purpose
ogy is, most academics agree that it consists of is to get people to eat more ice cream, then you need to
the study of humans. know who your audience is. If you are writing to a
c. Some anthropologists specialize in and pub- group of young children who love to eat ice cream,
lish articles about linguistics. your purpose will be quite easily achieved. You won’t
d. Radiocarbon dating is sometimes used by need to include much research or many statistics about
anthropologists who specialize in archaeology the benefits of eating ice cream. You can instead offer
studies. detailed descriptions of how pleasant it is to eat
ice cream.
On the other hand, if your audience is a group
Answer
The correct answer is b. Several aspects of this sentence of adults who are on a diet, you will need to bring in
show that it is the correct answer choice. For example, more elevated powers of persuasion. In fact, you will
its beginning transition word, regardless, ties Part 3 probably need to cite several studies and show proof
and Part 4 together by claiming that it doesn’t matter of how eating ice cream, in balance, is good for them.
what science anthropology is called (either social or Perhaps you can prove that low-fat ice cream has
behavioral) since academics agree that it consists of fewer calories than a hamburger, or you can cite stud-
the study of humans. The term academics echoes the ies of people who occasionally eat ice cream and still
phrasing of the word scholars in Part 2. The sentence stay slim. Your writing’s tone, content, and even
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organization is greatly determined by your audience. Audience Questions
Each multiple-choice question in the Writing section
Therefore, keeping your audience in mind throughout
on the THEA that asks about a writer’s purpose and
the writing process will help you to become a more
audience should be looked at carefully. Refer back to the
effective communicator.
heading of each passage to see what style it is written in
to help you determine the writer’s purpose and audi-
Practice
ence. Additionally, when you take the essay writing
Think about the difference in tone, content, and organ-
portion of the THEA, be sure to keep your purpose and
ization in the following writing tasks. Write down
audience in mind throughout the writing process.
examples for each task that show the particular tone,
type of content, and overall organization for each. After
you finish, take a moment to think about how different
P urpose and Audience
each writing task is merely because of the audience.
in Your Essay
2. You jot down a quick e-mail to a friend.
Before you begin to write your essay for the THEA, you
should spend the first four or five minutes of the
3. You carefully compose an essay for a college pro-
allowed time to define your purpose for writing the
fessor.
essay, to identify your audience, and to establish the
appropriate level of formality. Three questions that
Answers
will help you to do this are:
Answers will vary, but here are some examples.
1. What is the purpose of my essay?
2. E-mail messages are often written hurriedly and
2. Who is my audience?
normally lack formal organization. The e-mail’s
3. What level of formality should I use?
content will vary widely depending on your pur-
pose for sending it. It could be a short, chatty
The answers to these three questions regarding a
e-mail that asks a friend a question or makes a
topic on the THEA essay writing section will likely
request such as, “Can you help me pick out a
yield answers, such as:
new sweater?”
3. You probably wouldn’t say things like “There-
1. My purpose for writing this essay is to defend my
fore, only the electrons in the outermost shell are
position on the topic or to persuade my audience
involved” to your friend because the tone is too
that my position is best.
formal and the content too academic for light
2. My audience is one or more THEA evaluators,
conversation. However, you could very well
who are probably English instructors.
write such a sentence in a formal essay that you
3. I should use a formal tone and structure in writ-
hand in to a college professor because you know
ing for this audience and topic.
that academic writing takes a formal tone and
uses a standard form of English. Your para-
Now that you are aware of purpose and audi-
graphs will be organized, and the final essay will
ence, the next step is to focus on ideas and ways of
appear in a standard format for academic
organizing those ideas.
writing.
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M ain Ideas and Here are ways you can develop and support main
Organizational Patterns ideas:
Give specific examples. Examples help readers to
■
Now that you’ve mastered purpose and audience, it’s
understand what writers mean. Examples can also
time to examine main ideas and how to organize those
enhance a reader’s understanding of a complex
ideas in a piece of writing. Recognizing main ideas and
subject. Look back through the past few lessons for
organizational patterns will help you to correctly
the phrase for example, to see this step in action.
answer multiple-choice questions on the THEA and
Supply facts, statistics, or survey results. This is
■
using one or more organizational patterns to order
concrete information that readers will under-
your main ideas in your essay will help you ace that por-
stand. Facts support your case, so use them often.
tion of the test.
Include anecdotes or personal experiences.
■
Anecdotes tell a story, and they can illustrate a
Main Ideas
point you want to make in an essay. You may also
The main idea in a paragraph is often called a topic sen-
use personal experience to illuminate a point.
tence. The topic sentence normally appears in the first
However, don’t rely solely on anecdotes and per-
or last sentence of a paragraph. However, at other times,
sonal experience—you need to include other sup-
the main idea is not specifically stated, but it is implied
port as well.
in the overall paragraph. In those instances, readers
Mention specific details. If your main idea is a
■
need to determine the main idea by inference. Without
sentence that is a general statement, you can sup-
clear main ideas, an essay will flounder and flop. Let’s
port it by offering several specific details that
take a look at how you can unify, develop, and support
show how the general statement is true.
main ideas to make your essay a sweeping success.
It is essential that you offer support for all main
Keeping Main Ideas Unified
ideas in the essay that you write for the THEA. You also
A good essay contains main ideas that are unified. This
need to recognize and use methods for organizing main
means that when you write down a main idea in a
ideas, so read on.
paragraph, all the other sentences in that paragraph are
related to that main idea. This creates unity in an essay.
Organizational Patterns
If you write down a main idea and then interject a
An organizational pattern is a way of sequencing or
completely unrelated sentence in that paragraph, you
ordering your ideas in a piece of writing. This section
will lose your audience, and that will defeat your pur-
shows you several organizational patterns that you will
pose. So, be sure to maintain unity in your paragraphs.
find on the THEA. You should use one or more of
them in your essay. You may be asked to identify them
Developing and Supporting
or to understand their use in a passage on the multiple-
Main Ideas
choice portion of the test.
Developing main ideas to support your overall purpose
Be aware that organizational patterns related to
for writing is a challenge. But it is a challenge you can
writing are also known by other terms, such as “pat-
meet successfully. If you develop your ideas in an
terns of development” and “methods of organization.”
organized way, you will help your readers understand
So if a question asks, “What pattern of development is
what you are trying to communicate.
the author using?” you will know that the question is
also asking “What organizational pattern is the author
using?” since they mean the same thing.
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C omparison/Contrast categories of fiction, non-fiction, and romance novels,
Using comparison/contrast as an organizational pat- you are creating a faulty classification system because
tern enables you to focus on the similarities and dif- two items in the system overlap—romance novels are
ferences between two or more topics. For example, you fiction. Each category in a classification system needs to
might want to compare and contrast living in a large be logical and complete. To identify a classification
city with living in a small town. You could first list the method of organization, look for one general category
comparisons, such as both places have streets, com- that is broken down and divided into separate cate-
mercial businesses, and residential homes. But you gories. For instance, the topic of non-fiction books at
would probably spend more time developing the con- a book sale could be broken down to the separate cat-
trasts between these two subjects, such as level of crime, egories of memoir, biography, and how-to.
job opportunities, and population.
You can use a point-by-point method, in which Cause and Effect
you give examples of a similarity between each topic Cause and effect is a logical organizational pattern that
and then a difference between each topic. Or, you can explains how one thing or idea results in another thing
list all the similarities between the two topics first, and or idea. If you use this pattern in your writing, be care-
then list all the differences. ful not to make leaps in your reasoning. Each step of the
cause needs to be clearly explained and shown how it
Chronological created the effects you describe. You don’t want to leave
A chronological organizational pattern presents ideas out any steps in this process, or you may leave your
or events in a linear time frame, that is, their order of readers hanging. Also, include both immediate causes
occurrence. It is often used to explain a process or to tell or effects and long-term causes and effects.
a story. You might want to use chronological organi-
zation to describe how to bake cookies: “First you pre- Order of Importance
heat the oven, then you gather the ingredients, then you Ideas listed in their order of importance, either least
mix the ingredients and put them in the pan, and important to most important or most important to
finally, you bake the cookies in the oven.” This shows a least important, create an organizational pattern. The
progression of chronological events. You can also use most effective use of this pattern is to list ideas from
a chronological pattern to narrate a story, such as “This least important to most important because the idea
morning I woke up and rushed off to the library. After that is stated last has the most impact on the reader. To
studying for several hours, I went to the dining hall to use this pattern of organization, you need to spend
eat lunch. The afternoon was spent in classes and labs. time thinking about the importance of your ideas
Then, for dinner I met two friends, and we talked until before you can determine which idea should be placed
nightfall.” Readers can see the progression of events in front of the other. Save the strongest assertion for
throughout the day, chronologically. last.
Classification General to Specific
An essay that uses classification as an organizational The general to specific organizational pattern uses
pattern will likely contain items, topics, or ideas that are deductive reasoning. Writers who use this pattern move
divided into parts or separate categories. If you choose from a general statement to specific examples or ideas
to use classification as a method of organization, be that support that general statement. For example, you
sure that your categories are logical and that they don’t might write that Americans need to cultivate better
overlap. For example, if you divide books into the money-saving habits. This general statement would
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then need to be supported by specific examples, such as: 4. Which of the following sentences, used in place
only five percent of Americans save money out of every of the blank line labeled (2), would best fit the
paycheck, most Americans do not have enough money writer’s pattern of development in the
saved to retire comfortably, and Americans save 70% paragraph?
less than Europeans do. a. The reason can be classified into three distinct
categories: lack of advertising, the public’s dis-
interest in classical ballet, and lack of a good
Specific to General
The specific to general organizational pattern uses choreographer.
inductive reasoning. Writers who use this pattern move b. This saddened both the artistic director and
from specific examples or ideas to a general statement the dancers in the company.
that logically follows the specific examples. For exam- c. Even though they were located in a busy
ple, you might list several specific examples, such as: downtown district.
only five percent of Americans save money out of every d. Therefore, they hired a new choreographer
paycheck, most Americans do not have enough money who had an excellent reputation.
saved to retire comfortably, and Americans save 70%
less than Europeans do. Then, you sum up this discus- Answer
sion by stating the general idea that Americans need to The correct answer is d. The paragraph uses the cause
cultivate better money-saving habits. and effect organizational pattern. The word therefore
signals the change in the paragraph from lack of sales
to booming sales. The cause of the low attendance is
Definition
Offering a definition of a term, idea, or concept is implied to be that the dance company didn’t have a
another method of organization. Writers using this good choreographer. You can infer this because after
organizational pattern offer an explanation of some- the new choreographer with the excellent reputation
thing or list the many different definitions of what is was hired, sales began booming. Choice a suggests the
being defined. Sometimes you can help define some- organizational pattern in the paragraph is classification;
thing by stating what it is not. This is called negation or however, the paragraph does not support this method.
exclusion. Choice b does not make sense because there is no log-
ical connection between the sadness of the dancers and
the sudden increase in sales. Choice c is a sentence
Sample Organizational Pattern
fragment.
Question
Read the passage below written in the style of a maga- Now that you recognize main ideas and organi-
zine article. Then answer the question that follows. zational patterns, it’s time to dig into the details of how
to plan and write an essay.
(1) The floundering dance company could no longer
fill their theater with patrons. (2) _____________.
(3) Their ticket sales started to pick up. (4) The
dance company began advertising the fact that the
new choreographer was now working on their team.
(5) More and more seats became full until there was
standing room only.
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E ssay Planning 1. Do you know anyone who might feel strongly
and Introductions about the subject?
parents of school-age children, children, uni-
This section covers how to plan an essay and write an
form companies, local children’s clothing shops
introduction for the essay portion of the THEA. The
2. What reasons might they give for feeling the way
first step in writing an essay is to evaluate the assign-
they do?
ment. You should spend the first four or five minutes
of the allowed time to define your purpose for writing
Parents will not have to worry about what
the essay, to identify your audience, and to establish the
clothing to buy for their children for school.
appropriate level of formality. After you evaluate the
Children will not feel peer pressure to dress a
assignment, you will next want to plan or outline your
certain way. Some children will not feel that
essay.
their clothing is less fashionable than that of the
more affluent children. Uniform companies
Planning Your Essay
and fabric shops will receive more business.
Below are some tips on how to use the first four or five
3. If your side won the argument, who would
minutes to plan your essay, based on an essay topic
benefit?
similar to one that could appear on the THEA. Take
extra care in answering this sample question because
teachers and principals, because uniforms may
this topic will appear many times in the next few
help keep discipline in the school; parents,
lessons.
because clothing costs will be lower; and chil-
dren, because they’ll feel more accepted by their
Sample Persuasive Essay
peers
Question
4. If the opposing side won, who would be hurt?
5. In your opinion, should public schools require
Take the arguments you came up with in ques-
student uniforms?
tion 3 and negate them.
After you read the question carefully, choose your side 5. What might happen in your city, state, country,
of the issue. If there is a side of the issue you are pas- and in the world should your side win? If your
sionate about, the choice will be easy. If you know very side was the law, what good might happen next
little about a subject and do not have an opinion, just and why? If the opposite side was the law, what
choose the side that you think you can best support. bad might happen and why?
The test scorers don’t care which side you take.
Here you take your position and extend it to the
larger community. For instance, imposing
Brainstorming
school uniforms will lead to a greater sense of
After you choose a side to support for this topic, jot
order and equality among children across the
down as many ideas as you can that directly relate to
United States.
and support your position. Following are some exam-
ples of questions that can help you frame your opinions
for a persuasive essay. Note the suggested answers to the
questions for the topic of school uniforms.
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6. How does your side affect, for the better, other Conclusion: In the end, children, families, and
current issues your readers might be passionate school employees benefit.
about; i.e., the environment, freedom of speech,
and so on? Your essay doesn’t absolutely have to have just
three body paragraphs, though it shouldn’t have fewer
Requiring uniforms will preserve natural
than three. It’s just that three is a good, solid number
resources, since children will buy fewer clothes.
of main points, so start practicing with three right
from the start. You wouldn’t want to be in the middle
7. Should your side win, what senses—taste, smell,
of your fourth body paragraph when time runs out.
sight, touch, sound, and feelings—might be
affected?
Practice
Think about the sight of hundreds of orderly-
Try outlining the following essay topic using the orga-
looking children quietly studying in an organ-
nizational guidelines.
ized classroom . . . or whatever fits your topic.
If you can appeal to one or more of the five
6. In the last three decades, environmental issues
senses, you will have a more persuasive essay.
have received increasing amounts of attention.
Teaching materials on this subject are abundant
and some are even offered free to school districts.
Organize
Taking into consideration that some environ-
When you have finished brainstorming, organize your
mental issues should be covered, do you believe
notes into three or more topics. For instance, if you
too much emphasis is being placed on environ-
have three groups of people the proposal would affect,
mental issues in our schools?
you would write how each group would be affected,
whether any of the groups would take a financial loss,
and what else might happen to them. Here’s an exam-
G iving Life to an Introduction
ple of how the notes above might be organized into
topics:
If you feel your introductions are dull, or that they
lack sparkle, there is hope. One way to enliven your
Parents—Save money, children can use hand-
introductions is to make them fun. Get creative. Indeed,
me-downs, save wear on good clothes, buy-
the introduction can be the most fun of all the para-
ing clothes easier, less pressure from children
graphs of your essay because you have the opportunity
and fewer fights over money for clothes.
to be creative about drawing readers into your essay. A
Children—All children feel as well dressed as
surefire formula for a strong introduction has three
peers, feel more of a sense of belonging, eas-
parts: an attention-grabber, an orientation for the
ier and faster to dress in morning, don’t have
reader, and a thesis statement (using parallel struc-
to worry about what others think, more dis-
ture). The thesis statement is indispensable; you can
ciplined and calmer at school.
play around with the other parts a bit.
School staff—Fewer fights at school, less bully-
The purpose of the first sentence or two of your
ing and teasing, more school loyalty among
introduction is to get your reader’s attention. You may
children so builds school community, par-
start your introduction with a question or statement
ents less stressed so fewer calls for advice,
that engages the reader’s imagination, such as:
frees officials to do other things like
academics.
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Imagine a school auditorium full of alert chil- Alternatively, you can use any number of words
dren, all dressed neatly in blue and white uni- in phrases or even whole sentences that summarize
forms. Imagine these alert children happily the ideas you are going to write about. This is not the
running out to play in their blue shorts and place to give much detail, however, or you will have
white oxford shirts, playing tag and flying on nothing to develop in the next paragraphs.
swings.
Uniform policies provide relief for parents,
You will then need one or more sentences to ori- enhance self-esteem in children, and facilitate
ent your reader. Introduce your topic and give some learning at school.
background information. Here’s an example:
Parallelism
Over 98% of our nation’s schools have some kind of Your thesis statement should use parallel form. Paral-
dress code for their students. Twenty percent of these lel writing serves to aid casual readers, impress test
codes designate a certain color and style of dress. evaluators, and excite English teachers. The preceding
Some of these uniform regulations even include sentence is an example of parallel writing. Parallel writ-
specifics on shoes, socks, sweaters, and jackets. Over ing occurs when a series of phrases or sentences follow
1,000 schools each year are added to the ranks of the same form. In the second sentence of this para-
those that have adopted stricter uniform policies graph, there are three phrases that are parallel in form:
for their children. verb, adjective, noun.
VERB ADJECTIVE NOUN
State Your Thesis
The most important part of your introduction includes aid casual readers
a sentence that states your three or more main points
impress test evaluators
in parallel form; this is called the thesis, or thesis state-
ment. The purpose of this sentence is to tell readers excite English teachers
what you are going to tell them in the rest of the essay.
The thesis sentence is taken from the three main points
Practice
of your outline: parents, children, and school staff. Put
Test and strengthen your skills at parallelism. Change
these in order from the least persuasive or important to
each sentence to correct faulty parallelism.
the most persuasive or most important. Look at your
arguments for each topic and put last the argument for
7. Simple, cheerful, and having trust, children are a
which you can make the best case. Do you feel you can
joy to be around.
make the most convincing case for school staff and the
least convincing case for parents? If so, write about
8. Being happy is more desirable than to be rich.
parents first, then children, and finally, staff.
The trick here is to put the three in parallel form.
9. Succeeding as a teacher requires patience, caring,
You can always just state the three topics as they are:
and having a tolerant attitude.
Adopting a school uniform policy will benefit
parents, children, and school staff.
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A nswers After composing the topic sentence, uphold and
7. Simple, cheerful, and trusting, children are a explain your main idea with supporting sentences.
joy to be around. These sentences should be as detailed and descriptive
8. Being happy is more desirable than being rich. as possible.
9. Succeeding as a teacher requires patience, car- Let’s go back to the uniform example and write
ing, and tolerance. some topic sentences and supporting sentences.
Remember, the outline looks like this:
Body and Conclusion
Once you have your outline and your introduction, Parents—Save money, children can use hand-
you need not concentrate so much on ideas; you already me-downs, save wear on good clothes, buy-
have them written down. In the body and conclusion ing clothes easier, less pressure from children
of the essay, show off your writing style. Each of the and fewer fights over money for clothes.
three paragraphs after the introduction should contain Children—All children feel as well dressed as
a topic sentence and at least four supporting sentences. peers, feel more of a sense of belonging, eas-
Your conclusion should restate your thesis and offer a ier and faster to dress in morning, don’t have
few closing words. to worry about what others think, more dis-
ciplined and calmer at school.
Extra Practice School staff—Fewer fights at school, less bully-
The sample paragraphs on pages 186 and 187 contain ing and teasing, more school loyalty among
mistakes in grammar, punctuation, diction, and even children so builds school community, par-
organization. See whether you can find all the errors, ents less stressed so fewer calls for advice,
and try to correct them. frees officials to do other things, like
You may need to simply rewrite some of the para- academics.
graphs. Then, compare your revisions to the ones you Conclusion: In the end, children, families, and
will find on pages 195 and 196. There are many ways to school employees benefit.
rewrite the paragraphs; maybe you will find a better way
than the ones given. If you can do that, you’re sure to These are the thesis statement examples:
pass the writing portion of the THEA.
Adopting a school uniform policy will benefit
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parents, children, and school staff.
Topic Sentence and Uniform policies provide relief for parents,
■
Supporting Sentences enhance self-esteem in children, and facilitate
learning at school.
Each paragraph should have a topic sentence. Usually
the topic sentence begins the paragraph and states the Your first reason in favor of uniforms is that par-
main idea of the paragraph in general. For each of the ents benefit. To make things easier, you can copy the
three or more paragraphs that will make up the body first part of the thesis statement. This provides you
of your essay, one of the points from your outline with a transition (see below) as well as a topic sentence:
should be used. That is why you made the outline. The
points you wrote down will be the subject of the rest of In my opinion, a uniform policy will benefit
the sentences in the paragraph. parents.
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Next, add your detailed reasons. Here is one pos- introduction. Now you need something that will link
sible way to write the first body paragraph. (Remember, the first body paragraph to the second and the second
the paragraphs in this lesson have mistakes in them. to the third.
Can you correct them?)
Transitions
In my opinion, a uniform policy will benefit parents.
Because they are all the same style and shape and
usually very well made, children can use the hand- A transition sentence joins two paragraphs together
me-downs of older siblings or even used ones in some way. Usually, an idea taken from one paragraph
bought from another child. Parents they were also is linked with an idea in the second paragraph. This is
able to save money by buying fewer school clothes done all in one sentence. Sometimes you can do this at
for their children. Children, who are often demand- the end of one paragraph to link it to the next, but often
ing, will have already agreed on what clothes their it’s effective to build your transition right into your
parents will need to buy so there will be fewer argu- topic sentence, as you did with the first body paragraph.
ments over clothes for school their parents will need For instance, take the topic sentence for your sec-
to buy. Children and teachers like it too. Parents are ond body paragraph:
generally in favor of uniforms because you do not
have to provide your children with a different Children benefit from a school uniform policy.
matched set of clothes for each day. After buying
uniforms the first year, more peace was reportedly How can you link parents, the subject of your
experienced by 95% of the parents interviewed and first body paragraph, to children? Try something like
many surveys reported that it saved them an average this:
of $100–$200 in clothing costs.
Not only are parents happy to see a uniform
Notice how this paragraph has used some statis- policy in place, but their children benefit as
tics—completely made-up ones—to provide support well.
for the topic sentence. Lots of descriptive detail and
maybe even some quotations, when appropriate, will A transition links together body paragraphs one
help support your main point and make your essay and two. You can also put your transition at the end of
clear and compelling to your reader. the previous paragraph, rather than at the beginning of
Now, how about a topic sentence for each of the the new one.
other two body paragraphs? Now add the points from your outline to your
second and third body paragraphs. (Are you still look-
Children benefit from a school uniform policy. ing for the mistakes in these paragraphs?)
■
Uniforms cost no extra money for teachers and
■
administrators, yet the benefits are great. Not only are parents happy to see a uniform policy
in place, but their children benefit as well. If you
These sentences are fine for now, but your essay were not very wealthy wouldn’t you feel bad if you
needs transitions from one paragraph to another. The were not dressed as well as your peers. Children
first topic from your thesis statement gives your first who dress differently are alienated from cliques at
body paragraph an automatic transition from the school and left to feel like outsiders and are teased
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unmercifully and end up losing a lot of self-esteem. Answers
Answers will vary, but here are some sample sentences.
Dressing in uniform eliminates that problem.
Instead you feel a sense of belonging. You are less
10. I like blue. However, blue doesn’t look good
distractd by cumparing your clothes to others so
on me.
you are more apd to be relaxed and queiter in
11. Here are the steps. First, go to the store.
school. This enables them to learn more. Children
12. Eat a healthy diet. For example, eat vegetables
might be happy with the school uniform policy but
and fruit every day.
not as happy as their teachers and principals
13. I want to pass the THEA. Therefore, I am care-
Uniforms cost no extra money for teachers
fully studying this book.
and administrators yet the benefits are great. There
14. She is a good basketball player. Indeed, she made
is less competition in school so there is less fights.
the Olympic team.
The reason is because there is less bullying and teas-
ing and there is a lot less complaints. Instead, prin-
cipals and teachers were able to use uniforms to
T he Conclusion
build school pride and loyalty. Administrators and
teachers will be able to concentrate on what they love
A good format to follow for writing a conclusion is to
to do most teach instead of dealing with problems
first restate your thesis, and then try for a conclusion,
from children and parents.
something that will leave your readers with a sense of
closure, indicating that they really have finished.
Practice
So, in the first sentence or two, restate your the-
Strengthen your transition skills by using each of the
sis. Do not add any new ideas here. This is a good place
following transition words in a sentence. In addition,
to try out parallel form.
create a sentence that goes just before the sentence the
transition appears in to show how the transition is
Adopting a uniform policy will lighten the burden of
being used.
parents. It will promote cheerfulness and scholarship
in children. Lastly, it will free the time and talents of
10. However
teachers and administrators.
11. First
The last sentence or two should contain the con-
clusion. Its purpose is to end the paragraph gracefully
12. For example
and leave the reader with a sense of finality.
The last sentence of a persuasive essay may be a
13. Therefore
call to action, a question, a prediction, or a personal
comment. You might add one of these clinchers to the
14. Indeed
thesis summary on school uniforms:
What are we waiting for? We need to talk to our
■
teachers, principals, and school boards, and give
our children ALL the tools we can that are essen-
tial for their growth and development.
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Since school uniforms do so much good for par- words needs to be precise, your sentences varied, and
■
ents, students, and faculty, would you want your your paragraphs unified. Your paragraphs should have
school to miss out? connections between them so that your whole essay
flows from one thought to another. Let’s look at some
of the sentence elements that make up good para-
Practice
Try writing a conclusion for the following topic: graphs, so you can identify them in the multiple-choice
section and use them in the essay section.
15. It has been suggested that elementary students
should attend school six days a week instead of Varied Sentence Structure
the standard five. That way, each school day Within a paragraph, sentences should be varied. This
could be shorter. Do you think this is a beneficial is important when you write your essay because varied
and workable idea or not? sentence structure makes your essay more interesting
and shows the test evaluators that you have mastered
different sentence structures.
Answer
Answers will vary, but here is a sample conclusion. There are two types of sentence variation: sen-
tence length and sentence structure. Sentence length
15. Parents, students, and teachers will all benefit if should not be a problem. Use some long sentences and
elementary schools continue to meet five days a some short ones. As for varying the structure of a sen-
week instead of six. The five-day week enables tence, you might need to brush up on parts of speech
parents to align their work schedules with the and different types of clauses and phrases. If this is the
school’s, and it allows children and teachers a case, go to your local library and check out a book on
necessary and welcome break between school grammar. The idea is not to be able to name all the dif-
days. We cannot stand idly by and allow the six- ferent types of clauses, but only to be able to place
day school week to come into effect. some variety in your writing. The following exercise
demonstrates a few examples of various sentence
Once you have your ideas down on paper, it’s structure.
important to see that they are clearly and correctly
expressed—unlike some of the paragraphs found in Practice
this lesson. Rewrite the sentences beginning with the part of speech
indicated.
S entence Structure 16. The hostess greeted her special guests graciously.
(Adverb)
Several elements are needed to create effective sen-
17. The proprietor, hard as nails, demanded the rent.
tences. You will need to be able to recognize these ele-
ments on the multiple-choice portion of the THEA, (Adjective)
and you will need to be able to effectively incorporate
18. One must learn how to breathe to swim well.
them into your essay. The content of your essay is even
more important than its logical structure. Generaliza- (Infinitive)
tions need to be supported with exact and specific
details, which you are free to make up. Your choice of
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19. The white stallion leapt over the hurdles. It sounds as if the funds were doing the hiring.
Instead you should write:
(Preposition)
20. An octogenarian was playing with the children. If they do not hire certified teachers, the schools
will not receive state funding.
(Participle)
21. The schools will not be state funded if they do If you start off with a clause, make sure that the
who or what referred to in the clause begins the next
not hire certified teachers. (Adverb clause)
part of the sentence.
For additional practice, try writing sentences that
begin with these words: Misplaced Modifiers
Misplaced modifiers are closely related to dangling
clauses—they also can creep in and corrupt the sen-
After Unless
tence structure in a piece of writing. You should rec-
Although Where
ognize what a misplaced modifier is, so you can identify
As Wherever
it in a multiple-choice question. It’s also important
Because While
that you do not misplace modifiers in your essay. Before
Since
you hand in your essay, take a minute to look for mis-
placed modifiers in your sentences. Simply put, mod-
Answers
16. ifiers need to be placed as close as possible to the words
Graciously, the hostess greeted her special guests.
17. they modify. Modifiers may be adjectives, adverbs, or
Hard as nails, the proprietor demanded the rent.
18. other phrases or clauses that are used as adjectives or
To swim well, one must learn how to breathe.
19. adverbs. If the modifier is only one word, then place it
Over the hurdles leapt the white stallion.
20. directly in front of the word it is modifying. Here are
Playing with the children was an octogenarian.
21. some modifiers that are often misplaced in sentences:
If they do not hire certified teachers, the schools
will not be state funded.
nearly only
almost hardly
D angling Clauses merely just
You will need to recognize dangling clauses in the mul-
O pinions
tiple-choice section of the THEA. You should also avoid
including them in your essay. Dangling clauses mix up
Never start a sentence with “In my opinion” or “I
who’s doing what:
think.” If you didn’t think it, you wouldn’t be writing it.
In the school uniform essay, the sentence “In my opin-
If they do not hire certified teachers, state funds
ion, a uniform policy will benefit parents” should read
will not be sent to the schools.
simply:
A uniform policy will benefit parents.
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R edundancy First, uniforms would save parents money.
The fake survey you added at the end of the para-
Avoid redundancy. Try to keep your sentences as suc-
graph reports statistics on both money and peace, so
cinct as possible without losing meaning. Make every
that’s a great way to tie the two topics together. The rest
word and phrase count.
of the sentences should all fit under one of the two top-
Take a look at the following examples of redun-
ics. If you have something that doesn’t fit, just leave it
dant phrases and replacement words you can use for
out.
concise writing:
NOT BUT
R un-On Sentences
during the course of during
in the event that if Before you move on to problems with words in the next
lesson, take a look at a problem sentence from the sec-
in the near future soon
ond body paragraph on school uniforms.
plan in advance plan
Children who dress differently are alienated
past history past
from cliques at school and left to feel like out-
green in color green
siders and are teased unmercifully and end up
losing a lot of self-esteem.
true facts facts
Do you see that this sentence goes on and on? It
should have been divided into at least two sentences.
U necessar y Sentences If you wanted to join the two above sentences, you
and Sentence Order could do it with a semicolon; if you used a comma,
you’d have a sentence fault called a comma splice. The
In the multiple-choice writing portion of THEA, you
same is true of the sentence you just read. For more on
will need to identify sentences in a passage that do not
fixing your punctuation and word problems, keep
support the main idea. On the essay portion, you
reading.
should avoid writing sentences that are not on the same
general topic as the rest of the paragraph.
The order of the sentences in a paragraph is just
T he Punctuation,
as important as the order of the paragraphs in an essay.
Capitalization, and
For example, if you are writing about money parents
Word Doctor
will save, put all the sentences on money together. Pro-
vide transitions for your sentences, just as you did with
You will need to know correct punctuation for both the
your paragraphs. You can join sentences with transition
multiple-choice and the essay portions of the Writing
words such as besides, second, lastly, or you can put in
section. In the multiple-choice section of the THEA,
topic sentences.
you will need to be able to identify punctuation errors.
Try rearranging the paragraph on parents in a
In the essay section of the THEA, you will need to be
logical order. You have two topics: money and peace in
able to use punctuation correctly. This lesson will help
the family. So add a topic sentence to announce the first
you do both.
idea:
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There are dozens of different punctuation marks 5. Possessive pronouns never have apostrophes,
in the English language; those covered in this section even though some may end in s:
are the ones that present the most challenges to their
Our car is up for sale.
users.
Your garden is beautiful.
The Apostrophe
His handwriting is difficult to read.
Apostrophes (’) are used to indicate ownership and to
form contractions. Eight rules cover all of the situations 6. Use an ’s to form the plurals of letters, figures,
in which they may appear. and numbers used as words, as well as certain
expressions of time and money. The expressions
1. Add ’s to form the singular possessive, even when of time and money do not indicate ownership in
the noun ends in s: the usual sense:
The school’s lunchroom needs to be cleaned. She has a hard time pronouncing s’s.
The drummer’s solo received a standing My street address contains three 5’s.
ovation.
He packed a week’s worth of clothing.
Mr. Perkins’s persuasive essay was very
The project was the result of a year’s worth of
convincing.
work.
2. A few plurals, not ending in s, also form the pos-
7. Show possession in the last word when using
sessive by adding ’s:
names of organizations and businesses, in
The children’s toys were found in every room of hyphenated words, and in joint ownership:
the house.
Sam and Janet’s graduation was three months
The line for the women’s restroom was too long. ago.
Men’s shirts come in a variety of neck sizes. I went to visit my great-grandfather’s alma
mater.
3. Possessive plural nouns already ending in s need
only the apostrophe added: The Future Farmers of America’s meeting was
moved to Monday.
The customers’ access codes are confidential.
8. Apostrophes form contractions by taking the
The students’ grades improved each semester.
place of the missing letter or number. Do not
The flight attendants’ uniforms were blue and use contractions in highly formal written
white. presentations:
4. Indefinite pronouns show ownership by the Poor form: We’re going out of town next week.
addition of ’s: Good form: We are going out of town next
week.
Everyone’s hearts were in the right place.
Poor form: She’s going to write the next
Somebody’s dog was barking all night.
proposal.
It was no one’s fault that we lost the game. Good form: She is going to write the next
proposal.
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Poor form: My supervisor was in the class of In addition to helping to convey your voice and
’89. personality, commas are often used misused. There are
Good form: My supervisor was in the class of two common errors that all college-bound students
1989. should be aware of: the comma splice, and the serial
comma.
Its vs. It’s
Comma Splice
A comma splice is the incorrect use of a comma to
Unlike most possessives, its does not contain an
connect two complete sentences. It creates a run-on
apostrophe. The word it’s is instead a contrac-
sentence. To correct a comma splice, you can:
tion of the words it is. The second i is removed,
and replaced by an apostrophe. When revising
replace the comma with a period, forming two
■
your writing, say the words it is when you come
sentences
across it’s or its. If they make sense, you should
replace the comma with a semicolon
■
be using the contraction. If they don’t, you need
join the two clauses with a conjunction such as
■
the possessive form, its, without an apostrophe. and, because, or so
Comma splice: Our school received an
award, we raised the most
The Comma
Correct usage of commas (,) is not as critical to the money for the local charity.
meaning of your sentences as it is with other punctu- Corrected sentence: Our school received an
ation marks. However, they can be used to convey your award. We raised the most
voice as they speed up or slow down the pace of your money for the local charity.
sentences. Consider the difference in tone of the fol- OR
lowing example: Our school received an
award; we raised the most
Sentence A: During my junior year, I attended a money for the local charity.
conference in Washington, D.C., in OR
which student delegates from every Our school received an
state presented their ideas. award because we raised the
Sentence B: During my junior year I attended a most money for the local
conference in Washington, D.C. in charity.
which student delegates from every
state presented their ideas. Serial Comma
A serial comma is the one used last in a list of items,
Sentence A sounds more deliberate, giving a little after the word and. For instance, in the following exam-
more information with each clause. Sentence B reads ple, the comma after apples is the serial comma:
quicker, conveying the information faster and with
equal weight on each part. At the store, I bought bananas, apples, and
oranges.
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The lack of a serial comma can cause confusion. Colons have the effect of sounding authoritative.
In the sentence, Cindy, Ann, and Sally were hired to They present information more confidently and force-
work in the college counselor’s office, the message is fully than if the sentence were divided in two other
straightforward. But if the serial comma is dropped, it types of punctuation marks. Consider the following:
could be understood as Cindy being told that Ann and
Sally were hired. My teacher wasn’t in class today: he had to fly to
Houston to present a paper.
Cindy, Ann and Sally were hired to work in the
My teacher wasn’t in class today. He had to fly
college counselor’s office.
to Houston to present a paper.
While its use has been debated for centuries, the
The first example, with the colon, has the tone
serial comma clarifies the meaning of sentences. There-
that conveys, “I know why this happened, and I am
fore, you should use it consistently whenever writing a
going to tell you.” It sounds more authoritative. This
list.
can be effective in your essay, but because you never
want to appear pompous, it should be used sparingly.
The Colon
Colons (:) appear at the end of a clause and can
The Semicolon
introduce:
Semicolons (;) may be used in two ways: to separate
independent clauses, and to separate the items in a list
a list when the clause before the colon can stand
■
when those items contain commas.
as a complete sentence on its own
Incorrect: The classes he signed up for Use semicolons to separate independent clauses.
■
include: geometry, physics,
Case: Use a semicolon to separate inde-
American literature, and religion.
pendent clauses joined without a
Correct: He signed up for four classes:
conjunction.
geometry, physics, American
Example: Four people worked on the project;
literature, and religion.
only one received credit for it.
a restatement or elaboration of the previous
■
Case: Use a semicolon to separate inde-
clause
pendent clauses that contain com-
Incorrect: Shari is a talented hairdresser: she mas, even if the clauses are joined
is also the mother of two children. by a conjunction.
Correct: Shari is a talented hairdresser: she Example: The strays were malnourished,
attends a seminar each month and dirty, and ill; but Liz had a weak-
has been a professional for over ness for kittens, so she adopted
twenty years. them all.
Incorrect: My teacher wasn’t in class today: he
graduated Summa Cum Laude.
Correct: My teacher wasn’t in class today: he
had to fly to Houston to present a
paper.
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Case: Use a semicolon to separate inde- 3. the first word of a complete quotation, but not a
pendent clauses that are connected partial quotation
with a conjunctive adverb that 4. the first, last, and any other important words of a
expresses a relationship between title
clauses. 5. languages
Example: Victoria was absent frequently; 6. the pronoun I, and any contractions made with it
therefore, she received a low grade.
Point of View
Use semicolons to separate items in a series that
■
Keep a consistent point of view throughout your essay.
contain commas.
If you’re referring to your subject as they, use they,
them, and their throughout, don’t start using forms of
Case: Use a semicolon to show which sets
you instead.
of items go together.
Examples: The dates for our meetings are
Spelling Errors
Monday, January 10; Tuesday, April
You will encounter few, if any, spelling questions in
14; Monday, July 7; and Tuesday,
the multiple-choice section of the THEA. However,
October 11.
you will need to make sure you spell words correctly in
your essay. You will have to write quickly during the
She has lived in Omaha, Nebraska;
exam, so save a couple of minutes at the end to check
Nutley, New Jersey; Amherst,
your work for spelling errors.
Massachusetts; and Pensacola,
Florida.
Double Negatives
and Problem Words
Capitalization
Remember to use problem words correctly. Avoid dou-
Capitalization is necessary both for specific words and
ble negatives. If you must use them, make sure you are
to start sentences and quotes. However, many writers
saying what you really mean. If you have time, you
overuse it, and thus appear overly casual. There are
may want to brush up on other problem words such as
just six occasions that require capitalization:
lay and lie, all together and altogether, and so on. Dis-
cussions on these topics can be found in detail in most
1. the first word of a sentence
grammar books.
2. proper nouns (names of people, places, and
things)
Proofread
Spend the last few minutes of the exam proofreading to see whether you included everything you had to say,
whether you used the same verb tense and person throughout, and whether your words are clear. There is no
time for big revisions, but check for such details as periods or questions marks after sentences and spelling.
As you proofread, check to see whether your essay flows well. If additional punctuation is necessary to
get your point across, use it—but don’t go overboard by throwing in commas where they are not necessary.
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Verb Tenses Imagine these same children happily running out to
Unless there is a very good reason for doing otherwise, play in their blue shorts and white oxford shirts,
the same tense should be used throughout your essay. playing tag, and flying on swings. Whether or not to
You may use perfect tenses when appropriate, but try dress public school children alike has been the sub-
to avoid using future, past, and present in one para- ject of much controversy in recent decades. Oppo-
graph. See whether you can find the tense mistakes in nents suggest that requiring uniforms will stifle
the following paragraph. children’s ability to choose, squash necessary indi-
viduality, and infringe on the rights of children and
Uniforms cost no extra money for teachers and families. Although there is some justification for
administrators, yet the benefits are great. Because these arguments, the benefits of uniforms far out-
there is less competition in school, teachers and weigh the disadvantages. Adopting a uniform policy
administrators report that there are fewer fights, will benefit parents, children, and the school staff.
less bullying, and fewer complaints from the stu- A uniform policy will benefit parents. Uni-
dents. Instead, principals and teachers were able to forms save parents money. Parents will not have to
use uniforms to build school pride and loyalty. provide their children with a different matched set
Administrators and teachers will be able to concen- of clothes for each day, so fewer school clothes will
trate on what they love to do most, teach, instead of be needed. Because uniforms are all the same style
dealing with problems from children and parents. and shape and usually very well made, they can be
passed down from an older child to a younger one,
The first part of the paragraph is in present tense. or even sold. On a recent survey, parents new to
The past tense verb were able in the third sentence school uniforms estimated they saved up to $1,000
should be changed to the present are able. In the last on school clothes per child the first year alone. The
sentence, the future tense will be able should also be survey also reported that 95% of parents attributed
changed to the present are able. an increased feeling of peace to the adoption of the
uniform policy. Children will have already agreed on
Instead, principals and teachers are able to use uni- what clothes their parents will need to buy, so there
forms to build school pride and loyalty. Adminis- will be fewer arguments on this often touchy subject.
trators and teachers are able to concentrate on what Not only are parents happy to see a uniform
they love to do most, teach, instead of dealing with policy in place, but their children benefit as well. If
problems from children and parents. you were poor, wouldn’t you feel badly if you were
not dressed as well as your peers? Children who
dress differently are usually alienated from cliques at
Finalizing
Notice how the few remaining problems with transi- school and left to feel like outsiders. Often they are
tions have been cleaned up in this final version of the teased unmercifully. Dressing in uniform eliminates
essay on school uniforms. The body paragraph on that problem. Instead, uniformed children feel an
teachers and administrators ended with too strong a increased sense of belonging that enables them to be
statement—no one will believe that school personnel more relaxed and quiet in school. Children do not
will have no problems from children just because of need to compare their clothing with that of others,
uniforms—so that statement has been softened. so they have fewer distractions during their learning
time. Children like the policy because there is less
Imagine a school auditorium full of alert children, nagging at home, and dressing for school is much
all dressed neatly in blue and white uniforms. easier.
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Parents and children are not the only ones who Adopting a uniform policy will lighten the
are better off with school uniforms. Teachers and burden of parents. It will promote cheerfulness and
administrators love them too. Uniforms cost no scholarship in children. Lastly, it will free the time
extra money, yet the benefits are great. Because there and talents of teachers and administrators. What
is less competition in school, teachers and adminis- are we waiting for? We need to talk to our teachers,
trators report that less time is spent mediating principals, and school boards, and give our chil-
because there are fewer fights, less bullying, and dren all the tools we can that will enhance their
fewer complaints from students. Administrators and growth and development.
teachers can use the time they save to do what they
are paid to do—build school loyalty, form young Now that you have reviewed these writing strate-
minds, and teach basic skills. Teachers report a more gies, apply them to the essays in the practice exams
peaceful classroom, and administrators report a that follow.
more cooperative student body.
196
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