The Autobiography of Cockney Tom

1 Title: The Autobiography of "Cockney Tom" Author: Thomas Bastard * A Project Gutenberg Australia eBook * eBook No.: 0800591.txt Language: English Date first posted: June 2008 Date most recently updated: June 2008 This eBook was produced by: Peter Kelly Project Gutenberg Australia eBooks are created from printed editions which are in the public domain in Australia, unless a copyright notice is included. We do NOT keep any eBooks in compliance with a particular paper edition. Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing this file. This eBook is made available at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg Australia License which may be viewed online at http://gutenberg.net.au/licence.html To contact Project Gutenberg Australia go to http://gutenberg.net.au -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Title: The Autobiography of "Cockney Tom" Author: Thomas Bastard The Autobiography of "Cockney Tom," Showing his Struggles through Life, and proving this Truth of the Old Saying "that Honesty is the best Policy" Published under the Patronage of His Excellency Sir W F D Jerbois G.C.M.G. 2 Adelaide: McClory and Masterman, Printers, Grenfell Street. 1881 PREFACE. It has been said that where there is no sense of danger, there no danger need be feared; so the writer of this Autobiography ventures, despite any array of critics, to present the sketch of his life to a public whose indulgence he craves. He claims no merit for literary workmanship, but solely for truth and candour, and in those respects his book cannot be excelled. As understood by the writer of this preface, the aim of the work has been twofold, namely, to leave to a large circle of cherished friends, acquaintances, and relatives the exact memorials of a life marked by more than an ordinary vicissitudes; and also of the manner in which it is intended to illustrate how possible is the growth of evil habit, upon a genial, sociable disposition, and how equally possible an absolute reformation. If the work should prove pleasant, the author would be pleased; if profitable, he will be paid by coin that he would not exchange for the best mintage of the world. THIS WORK IS RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED T0 MR. MATTHEW BURNETT, THE GREAT TEMPERANCE ADVOCATE, AS A SLIGHT TOKEN OF ESTEEM BY HIS ADMIRING FRIEND, THE AUTHOR. CONTENTS. [Note: Page numbers are shown in the paper book, however there is no other indication as to the actual place where the description of each event begins. In this ebook, which does not include the original page numbers, the list below merely provides the sequence of events described in the book.] My Grandfather, and what he was Introducing My Father and Uncle Phillip My Mother, Foster Mother, and Nurses A Rich Aunt and an Old Gun Nearly Burnt to Death Old Gun Takes me Home--What he did with me there I am Apprenticed--My Master, and What He Was Like I get into Prison, and make many acquaintances I Get Out Again, and Return to My Master I Run Away, and Travel to Gain Knowledge I Commence Singing for a Living, and Return to London My Courtship, Marriage, and many Hardships A Change in My Life much for the better Join the Choristers at St. Barnabas, Pimlico Become a Tradesman, and have many Good Customers I Catch the Gold Fever, and make up my mind to go to Australia My Visit to the Rev. W. E. Bennett His Parish Clerk I Embark at Southampton My Voyage My Arrival at Adelaide What I Did, and How I Got My Living I Leave Adelaide for Victoria and the Goldfields My Arrival in Melbourne, and What I Thought of It On the Tramp to the Diggings--Events on the Road I Arrive at Forest Creek, and Make Acquaintances Depart From Forrest Creek, and Goes to Tarangower The Ball at Castlemaine, and What Took Place There Life in the Diggings at Tarangower My Tramp Back to Melbourne My Return to Adelaide My Military Career as a Sergeant in the Army--My Discharge I Become a Bank Messenger, Public Singer, Agent, &c. Tired of the Bank, I Turn My Attention to Swimming I Become Acquainted with the Man who Robbed the Duke of Edinburgh Tries Boating on the River Torrens The Dam Bursts Up, And I lose My Boats I Establish Turkish Baths--the Good They Have Done to the City My Wife Dies, and I take to Drink I meet with the Rev. Matthew Barnett The Good Results of His Doctrines I Attend His Lecture on "Yankee Bill" I Become a Sober Man, and Write this Autobiography Dates and Particulars * * * * * LIST OF SUBSCRIBERS [These are shown at the end of the ebook] * * * * * 3 THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF "COCKNEY TOM" PART I. I, Cockney Tom, am the son of a gun, who was so called because his father was a general in the Navy. Now this requires a little explanation. My grandfather, you must know, was master-at-arms on board the Royal Standard, 74 guns. It was his duty as a: warrant-officer to officiate when a man was to be flogged for getting drunk, or any other crime. They were tied up to a grating and punished with the cat in those days. Thank goodness it is not so now in the British Navy. It was the duty of the armorer to attend the surgeon of the ship in full uniform, with drawn sword, to see that the prisoner received his allowance. The armorer was to count the lashes, and the doctor`s duty was to tell the boatswain to cast the man off when he saw he could bear no more. So this is how the aforesaid son of a gun`s grandfather was nicknamed the flogmaster-general. Gun was armorer`s mate, fought in three engagements, and got his discharge without pension. His brother was not so fortunate. He rose by merit to be a second lieutenant, and one day was ordered to man the boat and go on shore at Portsmouth with orders for the ship. When he reached the stairs the men begged so hard to be allowed to go on shore for a short time to purchase some necessaries, that Gun`s brother gave them leave, on their engaging, on honor, to return soon. Imagine his feelings when he returned to find that all his men had deserted. In this dilemma Gun`s brother did not know what to do; to go on board he was ashamed, and therefore he made up his mind to follow the example of the men and bolt. He did so, was caught, and was sent to Portsmouth gaol to be identified by his brother officers. They came the next morning and took him on board, and placed him in irons. A court-martial was called; he was reduced from lieutenant to common seaman, and then they sentenced him to two dozen lashes, which he received on his birthday as a very unwelcome present. Gun obtained his discharge, went to London, and got married, by which transaction he increased and multiplied the earth to the extent of ten children, I being the wind-up of the lot, which consisted of nine boys and one girl. Now began some of the stirring and painful events of my wonderful life. My mother died when I was only five months old, and my sister became my only nurse. She used to carry me round the parish to mothers who had babies, and beg a drop of milk from one and another, so that I had many foster-mothers. Now, it so happened that I had a rich aunt, and she made an offer to Old Gun that if he would give me up entirely to her care, she would settle her property on me, as she had no children of her own, which offer Old Gun readily accepted. The will was made and duly registered, and I was taken from Old Gun and placed under the care of a good nurse. Old Gun took to chink, and when drunk visited my nurse, and listened to her complaints against my aunt. He called and had words with her, which so disgusted the old lady that she sent for a lawyer and altered her will, without leaving me a single penny. (So much for drink.) I remained with this nurse about five years. About this time I was nearly burned to death, my nurse having left me to mind the house. I got playing with the fire until my pinafore caught alight, when I ran out into the street all in a blaze. Two working men, who happened to be passing, seized me and threw me into a ditch close by. After that they took me to a doctor, and I was laid up in bed for twelve months. When Old Gun heard of it, he took me away from my nurse, and when he got me home he made use of me to fetch his gin, while he was on the drink. I remember fetching Gun as many as nineteen half quarterns of gin before dinner, and sometimes he would be on the fuddle for a fortnight. Gun having got into debt with a publican, to the extent of two pounds, he summoned him for the amount. As Gun refused to pay, the publican caused him to be sent to gaol for six weeks. I used to visit father Gun in prison, and take him coffee and sugar. Now, while Gun was in trouble I was also doomed to suffer. Gun`s landlady refused to give me a night`s lodging. I lived on the few coppers earned by running about the city and holding gentlemen`s horses. At last, to get rid of me the landlady took me to the workhouse, and left me there till Gun came out of prison. When Gun did come out, it was only to have a change from gaol to workhouse. At last the end came, and Gun died a penitent sinner. The parish apprenticed me to a shoe-maker, a man that wanted the premium much more than he wanted the boy. My master treated me more like a dog than a human being. I was fed badly, and clothed worse; was allowed one suit of the commonest corderoy that could be got per year. In fact I wore one pair of trousers until 4 they became kneebreeches. One pair of common boots a year, and a good sound thrashing twice a week. Not only were my hours of labor from five o`clock in the morning until ten at night, but my fare was far worse. Now it so happened at this period of my life that I took a fancy to swimming, and in order to gain a knowledge of this art I used to get up very early every morning and bathe in a canal which was not far off. This pastime nearly cost me my life. No less than three times I was brought out of the water nearly dead; but I was determined not to be beaten, and after taking lessons of a professor I became a very fair swimmer. I soon found that my master was a bad man, the woman that lived with him had left her husband (a respectable farmer in Yorkshire), and both these worthies took to heavy drinking. At this time I was between 15 and 16 years of age. My master kept a fine house, but like many other worthies, he forgot to pay his rent, and was so clever that he got into debt with everyoue. At last, being greatly troubled in his mind, he determined to shoot, not himself, but the moon, as it was called in London, which being interpreted means that he ran away from his house in the night time, not forgetting to take his goods with him; but in his hurry and excitement left an old bedstead in the house. I was ordered to go early the next morning and get this bedstead out by the back door, my master being there to help me carry it home. To accomplish this task I had to, get through the cellar window. I succeeded in taking down the bedstead, put the screws in my pocket, and got it outside, when, alas, I beheld that kindest of friends, the policeman, who most affectionately put his hand upon my arm and marched me off to the lockup on a charge of house-breaking. I was taken before the magistrate and the landlady appeared against me. I was committed for trial on the charge, and was most graciously conveyed in His Majestys King William the IV`s carriage to Horsemonger Lane Gaol. I was kept in prison eleven days before my trial, and no one was allowed to see me but my fellow prisoners, and when at last I was tried, I pleaded my own case, and succeeded in justifying my conduct by explaining that I was only an apprentice, and therefore bound to obey my master`s orders, and keep his secrets, according to the wording of my indentures, and so I was honourably acquitted. While I was in gaol I had to attend chapel. Now any moral or religious benefit I might have received from such attendance was utterly neutralized by bad management of our prisons, in compelling comparatively innocent persons to mix with the greatest blackguards and thieves in London. As a matter of fact there was some prisoners there at the same time that I. was obliged to associate with who were guilty of every crime you can mention, including murder. Amongst them, however, was a Rev. Dr. Taylor, who was imprisoned for speaking against the bible and the government. He used to lecture at the rotunda in the Blackfriar`s Road. He made my acquaintance, and taught me many good things, and although a prisoner, he was not by any means a bad man, for he had the fear of God in his heart. He persuaded me to attend Sunday-school and church when I got out. Altogether this Rev. gentleman`s influence upon me was for my good, and far more likely to effect my reformation than any punishment in gaol, especially when injudiciously administered. I did not forget his good counsel, for when I got back to my master I begged to be allowed to go to a Sunday-school, and also to church. This request was granted, and many a time I went without my Sunday`s dinner rather than be late at school. The Parish clerk found out that I had a voice, so he sent for me and gave me lessons in hymn and psalm singing, and chanting the service. I felt very proud of this, and although I occasionally received a good thrashing from my master for the most trifling mistakes in my work, I bore up well till I was nearly seventeen years of age. By this time, however, my master`s treatment grew rather worse than better, so I determined to nun away and try the country, for a change of air. I had a married brother living at Hastings, in Sussex, and to go there I began to save up for the journey out of my pocket money, which was only threepence per week, out of which I saved two-thirds. At length, with my savings, which amounted to tenpence, a two pound loaf, and no butter, I rose at three o`clock on a beautiful summer`s morning and crept down stairs very softly, opened the door and got outside without being heard by any of the inmates. After walking about five miles without resting, I began to sing a verse from an old man-a-war song, as follows:-- "I wish I was at Hastings With my true love along with me, Everything that`s fitting, To serve His Royal Majesty. Where liquor there is plenty, Flowing bowls on every side, Hard fortune ne`er shall daunt me, For I`m young and the world is wide." After walking eight miles, I bad a rest, and refreshed the inner man with bread and water. While resting, a fish 5 van happened to pass on its way to Hastings, the very place I was bound for. I made a dart and got up behind. When the driver stopped to change horses, I asked him if he would allow me to ride behind, for which privilege I offered to skid the wheel, which means, in railway language, put on the brake. When the driver learnt that my brother lived at Hastings he took an interest in me, and was very kind for the rest of the journey. I arrived safe and sound the same night, and found out my brother`s residence, but, unfortunately, my brother was ten miles from home, working at a gentleman`s seat, and did not return for a week after my arrival. My sister-in-law was very good to me at first, but soon began to speak in terms that convinced me that she was no friend of mine. She used to drink gin on the sly, and get drunk, and deceive her husband by making him believe that she was ill. Fearing that I would let my brother into the secret, she became my bitter enemy. I saw through it, and when I had managed to get work, I left my brother`s house and took lodgings amongst a tribe of gipsies who lived in the neighbourhood. My new master was a regular "out and outer" a splendid workman, well educated, a good reciter, but too fond of company and drink, which kept him poor, and made his wife miserable. She was very good to me, and gave me many a meal when my master was on the spree. I left the Gipsies, and found cheap lodgings by the sad sea waves, in the fishing boats. I used to rise early and assist the fishermen to wash and pack their fish for market, for which service I used to get a fish for breakfast. It was at Hastings that I improved in the art of swimming; I might have been seen in the sea, three times a day; and so the time rolled on. I improved in my trade, but, unfortunately, at the end of the season I had no work to do. I then took it into my head that I would return to London, and find out my sister. The next question was how to get there without money to start with? The thought struck me that I could sing my way back. I started accordingly early one morning and walked eight miles to a place called Battle, the spot where the great battle of Hastings took place. When I arrived, I found there was a fox hunt on, and that after the hunt there was to be a dinner for the sportsmen, so I made up my mind to stay and offer my services as a singer, and trust to their generosity as to what they would give me. I did so, and so pleased the company that they gave me a good dinner and four and ninepence to boot, and the landlord gave me a night`s lodging. I started next morning for Tunbridge, in Kent; next I went to Maidstone, where I met with a harpist with whom I joined company, I to sing, and harpy to play, and go share in the profits. We waited on the mayor of the town, and got his permission to play and sing in the streets. We did well, lived like fighting cocks, and saved money. From Maidstone we travelled to Sittingbourne, where we were engaged to play and sing in the Assembly Rooms, and there made a great hit in my song, "Funking the Cobbler," sung in caricature. I now began to fancy myself. From there I found my way to Chatham, wher? I was engaged in a low concert room, frequented by soldiers, sailors, and bad women. I learnt no good there, but a great deal that was bad. I did not stop long there but went on to Rochester, got work at my trade, and for a time gave up singing. From Rochester I went to Gravesend, where I worked at my trade, singing now and then professionally. Thence I travelled to London and found out my sister, who received me with sisterly love. I got work and lived very happily with her for a long time. It so happened that my sister had an acquaintance who used to call and see her occasionally. One day this friend brought her eldest, daughter with her. I was engaged at my work, singing away as only shoemakers can sing, the following beautiful lines:-- "Beware those finikin lasses, And never by beauty be led; For a girl that surpasses all others `Tis she that works hard for her bread." "Who is that singing?" enquired the young woman. "It is my brother Tom," replied my sister. "I should like to see him," she said, "You shall," said my sister, and she brought the young woman into the room where I was working. I blushed, for I thought, I had never before seen such a good-looking young person. We all had tea, and I had the impertinence to ask her to take a walk, and she did not refuse. From that time we became lovers, and were four months afterwards married at St. John`s Church, Waterloo-road, Lambeth. After I had brought the ring, paid the parson, and given a dinner (which I had also paid for), I took my bride to furnished lodgings. I got up the next morning to work with the large capital of three shillings and sixpence to start a new life. I, however, was not going to be discouraged with such a small beginning, and as neither my wife nor I were deficient in pluck, we both determined to work early and late, and soon got a home of our own-a small one, in ... - tailieumienphi.vn