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- Something Wicca This Way Comes
Written by: Constance M. Burge
Transcribed by: Shay Fitzpatrick
Season 1, Episode 01
Episode Number: 01
[Scene: Serena Fredrick's apartment. She puts down a bowl of food for her
cat. (Later known as Kit.)]
Serena Fredrick: Come on, baby. Good girl. (She walks over to her altar
and lights the candles with just a touch of her finger. You see someone standing
outside her window. She starts saying a spell.) Ancient one of the earth so deep,
master of moon and sun. I shield you in my wiccan way, here in my circle round,
asking you to protect this space, and offer your sun force down. (Someone walks
up behind her. She turns around.) What are you doing here? (The man pulled out a
knife and plunged it in her stomach.)
[Scene: Halliwell manor. Piper walks through the front door.]
Piper: Prue?
Prue: In here, working on the chandelier.
- Piper: Sorry I'm late.
Prue: What else is new? Piper, I would of been here to meet the electrician
myself but you know I can't leave the museum until six. I didn't even have time to
change.
Piper: I just didn't realise how long I was in China town. Did Jeremy call?
Prue: No, but he had some roses and a package delivered. What were you
doing in China town? I thought that you had an interview in North Beach.
Piper: I did but I went to Young Lee market after my interview to get the
ingredients for my audition recipe tomorrow.
Prue: So, that wolfgang-puck knock-off didn't hire you then?
Piper: No, but this just may get me the job.
Prue: Jeremy sent you port?
Piper: The ultimate ingredient for my recipe. Oh my God, I don't believe it.
Tell me that's not our old spirit board?
Prue: Yeah, I found it in the basement when I was looking for the circuit
tester.
Piper: (Reading the inscription on the back) "To my three beautiful girls.
May this give you the light to find the shadows. The power of three will set you
free. Love, Mom." We never did figure out what this inscription meant.
Prue: Well, maybe we should send it to Phoebe. That girl is so in the dark,
maybe a little light will help.
- Piper: You're always so hard on her.
Prue: Piper, the girl has no vision, no sense of the future.
Piper: I really think Phoebe's coming around.
Prue: Well, as long as she doesn't come around here I guess that's good
news.
Opening Credits
[Scene: The witch's apartment. Police are there.]
Darryl: Well, it's about time.
Andy: I got here as soon as I heard. Another dead female, right? Mid to late
twenties.
Darryl: I've been paging you for over an hour, Trudeau, where have you
been?
Andy: Checking out a lead.
Darryl: What lead?
Andy: One that didn't go anywhere.
Darryl: You're avoiding my question.
Andy: Because you don't want to know that I went to an occult shop.
Darryl: You hate me don't you? You wanna see me suffer.
- Andy: I wanna solve these murders. Someone's after witches.
Darryl: Women.
Andy: That woman up there, I bet she was killed with an athame.
Darryl: Wrong. Double edged steel knife.
Andy: Right. That's an athame. It's a ceremonial tool. Witch's use them to
direct energy.
Darryl: That woman didn't direct jack. She was stabbed. Plain and simple.
Andy: Was she found in an altar?
Darryl: Yes.
Andy: Were there carvings on that altar?
Darryl: Just do me a favour. Don't even follow a lead without checking with
me first.
Andy: You wanna go to occult shops?
Darryl: Get to work okay.
Jeremy: Jeremy Burns. San Francisco Chronicle. You care to comment?
Andy: A woman was stabbed. Plain and simple.
Jeremy: Well, that's the third one in three weeks.
(Andy walks off.)
- [Scene: Halliwell manor. Prue is fiddling with the circuit tester.]
Prue: I don't get it. I have checked everything, there's no reason why the
chandelier should not be working.
Piper: You know how we've been talking about what to do with the spare
room? I think you're right, we do need a roommate.
Prue: We can rent the room at a reduce rate in exchange for some help
around the house.
Piper: Phoebe's good with a wrench.
Prue: Phoebe lives in New York.
Piper: Not anymore.
Prue: What?
Piper: She left New York. She's moving back in with us.
Prue: You have got to be kidding.
Piper: Well, I could hardly say no. It's her house too. Grams left it to all
three of us.
Prue: Yeah, months ago and we haven't seen or spoken to her since.
Piper: Well, you haven't spoken to her.
Prue: No, I haven't. Look, maybe you've forgotten why I'm still mad at her.
Piper: No, of course not but she had nowhere else to go. She lost her job,
she's in debt.
- Prue: And this is news? How long have you known about this anyway?
Piper: A couple of days, maybe a week-or two.
Prue: Thanks for sharing. When does she arrive?
(The front door opens and Phoebe walks in.)
Phoebe: Surprise! I found the hide-a-key.
Piper: Phoebe, welcome home.
Phoebe: Hello, Piper. (Piper and Phoebe hug.)
Piper: It's so good to see you. Isn't Prue?
Prue: I'm speechless.
(A car horn beeps.)
Phoebe: Oops. I forgot about the cab.
Piper: I'll get it. (She grabs Prue's purse.)
Prue: Piper, that's my purse.
Phoebe: Thanks. I'll pay you back.
Prue: Is that all that you brought?
Phoebe: That's all that I own and a bike. Look, I know that you don't want
me here ...
Prue: We're not selling Grams' house.
- Phoebe: Is that why you think I came back?
Prue: Look, the only reason Piper and I gave up our apartment and moved
back here because this house has been in our family for generations.
Phoebe: No history lesson needed. I grew up here too. So can we talk about
what's really bothering you?
Prue: No, I'm still furious with you.
Phoebe: So, you'd rather have a tense reunion filled with boring chitchat
and unimportant small talk?
Prue: No, but otherwise we won't have anything to talk about.
Phoebe: I never touched Roger.
Prue: Whoa.
Phoebe: I know you think otherwise because that's what that Armani-
wearing, Chardonnay-slugging, trust-funder told you ...
(Piper comes back in the house.)
Piper: Hey, I have a great idea. Why don't I make a fabulous reunion dinner.
Prue: I'm not hungry.
Phoebe: I ate on the bus.
Piper: Okay, we'll try the group hug later.
[Scene: Phoebe's room. Phoebe's stands in front of the mirror. The news is
on the TV but she's not really watching it. Piper knocks on the door.]
- Piper: It's me.
Phoebe: Come on in. (Piper is carrying a tray with drinks and food on it.)
Thank God. I am starving.
Piper: Figured. (She sees Jeremy on TV.) Hey, that's my boyfriend, Jeremy.
What happened?
Phoebe: Some woman got whacked.
Piper: Whacked? Phoebe, you've been in New York way too long.
Phoebe: Yeah, I should of stayed. Now, why didn't you tell her I was
coming back?
Piper: And risk her changing the locks? I don't think so and besides, I think
you should of been the one to tell her not me.
Phoebe: Good point, Chicken Little. It's just so hard for me to talk to her.
She's always been more like a mother.
Piper: That's not her fault. She practically had to sacrifice ...
Phoebe/Piper: Her own childhood to raise us.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Piper: And we're lucky she was so responsible. You and I had it easy, all
we had to do was be there.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, I don't need a mum anymore, you know, I need a sister.
(Prue knocks on the door. She's holding a blanket.)
- Prue: This was always the coldest room in the house.
Phoebe: Thanks.
(Prue leaves.)
[Scene: The murdered witch's apartment. Andy and Darryl are there along
with people. Andy looks at the tattoo on her neck. It's a full circle with three
interlocking arcs inside.]
Andy: It's the same tattoo that was on the other two victims.
Darryl: So, the murderer is killing occults.
Andy: No, the murderer's on witch hunts.
Darryl: Oh, yeah, he's five to eight years old and he lives in Salem. Look
around, Trudeau. Pentagrams, altars, offerings, all the tools of a freak fest.
Andy: They call them Sabbaths. Which is hardly a freak fest. She was a
solitary practitioner. She practiced her craft alone.
Darryl: Mmm.
Andy: Let me ask you something, Morris. Do you believe in U.F.O.'s?
Darryl: Hell, no.
Andy: Neither do I. But do you believe that there are people out there who
do believe in U.F.O.'s?
Darryl: Yes, but I think they're crazy.
- Andy: Well, then why can't you believe that there are people who believe
they are witches.
Darryl: Look, all I know is if you don't stop talking about witches, I'm
gonna start questioning you. (Kit jumps up on the bench. She meows. Andy goes
over and pats her.) I'd stay away from that cat, Trudeau. It's been clawing the crap
out of everybody. See you at the car.
(He leaves. Andy looks at Kit's collar. It has the same symbol on it that was
tattooed on the witch.)
Commercial Break
[Scene: Halliwell manor. Piper and Phoebe are sitting at the table playing
with the spirit board.]
Phoebe: When did you meet Jeremy?
Piper: About six months ago - right before Grams died. We met in the
hospital cafeteria the day Grams was admitted. He was covering a story and I was
bawling over a bagel. So, he handed me a napkin.
Phoebe: How romantic.
Piper: As a matter of fact it was. The napkin had his phone number on it.
(Phoebe laughs.) Stop pushing the pointer.
Phoebe: I'm not touching it.
Piper: You used to always push the pointer. More popcorn?
(She gets up and heads for the kitchen.)
- Phoebe: Hey, I forgot your question.
Piper: (from the kitchen) I asked if Prue would have sex other than herself
this year.
Phoebe: That's disgusting. Please say yes. (The pointer moved to the letter
'A' by itself.) Piper. (It then moves to 'T'.) Piper, get in here!
Piper: What?
(Prue comes in.)
Prue: What did you guys do now?
Piper: Me? I didn't do anything.
Phoebe: The pointer on the spirit board. It moved on its own. (Prue and
Phoebe stare at her.) I'm serious. It spelled 'A' 'T'.
Piper: Well, did you push it?
Phoebe: No.
Prue: You used to always push the pointer.
Phoebe: My fingers were barely touching it. Look. (She puts her fingers on
the pointer. Nothing happens. Prue and Piper turn and start to leave. The pointer
moves to the bottom of the board, then back to the letter 'T'.) Ah, it did it again! It
moved!
(Prue and Piper turn back around and look at the board.)
Prue: It's still on the letter 'T'.
- Phoebe: I swear it moved. (Prue leaves the room. The pointer moves again.
Piper sees it too.) There. (She stands up.) Look. You saw that right?
Piper: I think so, yeah.
Phoebe: I told you I wasn't touching it. (The pointer moves again.)
Piper: Prue, can you come in here for a sec?
(Prue comes back in the room.)
Prue: Now what?
(Phoebe writes the letters down on an envelope.)
Phoebe: I think it's trying to tell us something. (She holds up the envelope.)
Attic.
(There's a loud clap of thunder and the power goes out.)
[Cut to the foyer. Piper is walking towards the door. Prue is following her.]
Prue: Don't you think you're overreacting? We're perfectly safe here.
Piper: Don't say that. In horror movies, the person who says that is always
the next to die.
Prue: It is pouring rain. There's a psycho on the lose. Jeremy's not even
home.
Piper: Well I'll-I'll-I'll wait in the cab until he gets home.
Prue: That'll be cheap.
- Piper: Prue, I saw that pointer move.
Prue: No, look, what you saw was Phoebe's fingers pushing the pointer.
There's nothing in the attic, she's playing a joke on us.
Piper: We don't know that. We've lived in this house for months and we've
never been able to get that attic door open. (She crosses the foyer and picks up the
phone.) Great, now the phone doesn't work.
Prue: Yeah, the power's out. Look, go with me to the basement.
Piper: What?
Prue: I need you to hold the flashlight while I check out the main circuit
box.
Piper: Phoebe will go with you to the basement won't you Phoebe.
Phoebe: Nope, I'm going to the attic.
Prue: No, you're not. We already agreed.
Phoebe: I am not waiting for some handyman to check out the attic and I'm
certainly not waiting until tomorrow. I'm going now.
(Phoebe walks up the stairs. Prue goes into another room.)
Piper: Prue, wait.
[Cut to Phoebe. She tries to open the attic door but it's locked. She gives up
and turns to walk back down the stairs. She hears a creak and turns to see the attic
door opening. She walks inside. A light shines on a trunk and she walks over to it.
- She opens it and there's a book inside. She picks up the book and blows the dust
off. She opens it.)
Phoebe: "The Book of Shadows." (She turns the page and starts reading.)
"Hear now the words of the witches, the secrets we hid in the night, the oldest of
Gods are invoked here, the great work of magic is sought. In this night and in this
hour, I'll call upon the ancient power, bring your powers to we sisters three, we
want the power, give us the power."
(Prue and Piper enter the attic.)
Prue: What are you doing?
Phoebe: Uh ... reading an incantation. It was in this Book of Shadows, I
found it in that trunk.
Piper: How did you get in here?
Phoebe: The door opened.
Piper: Wait a minute, an incantation? What kind of incantation?
Phoebe: It said something about there being three essentials of magic. Uh,
timing, feeling and phases of the moon. If we were ever gonna do this, now -
midnight on a full moon - is the most powerful time.
Piper: This? Do what?
Phoebe: Receive our powers.
Piper: What powers? Wait, our powers? You included me in this?
- Prue: No, she included all of us. (Reading from the book.) "Bring your
powers to we sisters three." It's a book of witchcraft.
Piper: Let me see that.
[Cut to outside. A man is standing outside their house.]
[Cut back to inside. They are walking down the stairs.]
Prue: Spirit boards, books of witchcraft. It figures all this freaky stuff
started when you arrived.
Phoebe: Hey, I wasn't the one who found the spirit board.
Prue: But it wasn't my fingers sliding around on the pointer.
Piper: It doesn't matter. Because nothing happened, right Phoebe, when you
did that incantation?
Phoebe: Well, my head spun around and I vomited split-pea soup. How
should I know?
Piper: Well, everything looks the same.
Phoebe: You're right.
Prue: But the house still needs work.
Piper: Everything feels the same, so nothing's changed.
[Cut to outside. The man that was standing there slowly walks off.]
Commercial Break
- [Scene: Outside Halliwell manor. Phoebe's sitting on the stairs drinking
coffee. Piper comes out.]
Piper: You're up early.
Phoebe: I never went to sleep.
Piper: Don't tell me you put on a black conical hat and spent the night
flying around the neighbourhood on a broomstick?
(She sits down next to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: The only broom I've ever had was kept in a closet beside a mop.
Piper: So what were you doing?
Phoebe: Reading. Is Prue around?
Piper: She went to work early. Reading aloud?
Phoebe: No. According to the Book Of Shadows, one of our ancestors was
a witch, named Melinda Warren.
Piper: And we have a cousin who's a drunk, an aunt who's manic, and a
father who's invisible. (She stands up.)
Phoebe: I'm serious. She practiced powers. Three powers. She could move
objects with her mind, see the future and stop time. Before Melinda was burned at
the stake, she vowed that each generation of Warren witches would become
stronger and stronger, culminating in the arrival of three sisters. (They walk to
- Piper's car.) Now, these sisters would be the most powerful witches the world has
ever known. They're good witches and I think we're those sisters.
Piper: Look, I know what happened last night was weird and unexplainable,
but we're not witches and we do not have special powers besides, Grams wasn't a
witch and as far as we know, neither was mum. (Piper kisses her on the cheek.) So
take that Nancy Drew. (She gets in her car.)
Phoebe: We're the protectors of the innocent. We're known as the charmed
ones. (Piper drives off.)
[Scene: The Museum of Natural History.]
Roger: There's been change of plan.
Prue: Change of plan regarding the Beals expedition?
Roger: The extra money that you help raise through private donations has
sparked significant corporate interest. The Beals artefacts will now become part of
our permanent collection.
Prue: Well, that's terrific.
Roger: Which is why the board wants someone a little more qualified to
handle the collection from now on. You look surprised.
Prue: I don't know why. I'm furious. Not only have I been on this project
since its inception, but I'm the curator who secured the entire exhibition. You're
the person a little more qualified aren't you?
- Roger: I could hardly say no to the board of directors, could I? But I know
you'll be happy for me, after all, what's good for me is definitely good for you.
Right, Miss Halliwell?
Prue: Miss Halliwell? Since when did we stop being on a first-name-basis?
When we stopped sleeping together or when I returned your engagement ring,
Roger?
Roger: I didn't realize the two were mutually exclusive. Although I
certainly enjoyed one better than the other.
Prue: Bastard! (She turns to leave.)
Roger: Prue, wait. (She stops.) I feel like I should say something if only to
avoid a lawsuit. (She leaves. Roger's pen in his pocket leaks and gets a blue ink
spot on his shirt. He takes the pen out of his pocket and it squirts in his face.)
[Scene: Quake. Piper is in the kitchen making her audition meal. Just as
she's pouring the port wine in a measuring cup, Chef Moore enters the kitchen.]
Chef Moore: (In his French accent) Your time is up. Let's see. (Reading the
index card.) Roast pork with gratin of fennel and penne with a port giblet sauce.
Piper: Chef Moore ...
Chef Moore: What?
Piper: Uh, the port ...
Chef Moore: Yes, without the sauce it is nothing more than a salty marinara.
A recipe from a woman's magazine. Puh!
Piper: I didn't have time for--
- Chef Moore: Ah-ah!
Piper: But, but ... (He puts some on a fork and raises it to his mouth. Piper
waves her hands around and he stops. He stands there like a statue.) Chef Moore?
Chef Moore? (She waves her hand in front of his face.) Hello? Hello? (She picks
up a baster and fills it up with some port. She dribbles some on Chef Moore's
forkful of food. He unfreezes and puts it in his mouth.)
Chef Moore: Mmm ... this is very good. C'est magnifique.
[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Roger's office. He's sitting in his chair
facing the window, talking on the phone.]
Roger: It was my idea to spark corporate interest in private donations. Not
only have I been with this project since its inception, (Prue walks in his office.)
but we both know who really secured the entire exhibit.) He swings around on his
chair and sees Prue.) Prue ...
Prue: I quit.
Roger: (On the phone) I'm going to have to call you back. (He hangs up.)
Think about this, Prue.
Prue: Lousy job, lousy pay, lousy boss. What's to think about?
Roger: Your future. Because, believe me, if you walk out with no notice,
you can kiss any references--
Prue: Don't threaten me, Roger.
- Roger: You know me. Had to try. You're hurt, you're angry, your pride is
wounded. I understand all that. That's why you can't see that I'm doing you a
favour.
Prue: Excuse me?
Roger: I had to take the exhibit away from you. If I hadn't, the board would
of come and put a total stranger in my place. Think about it, Prue. I'm here for you.
Not some stranger. You should be thanking me not leaving me.
Prue: Well, I'm not worried. I'm certain that your intellect will make quick
work of the seventy-five computer discs and thousands of pages of research I left
in my office.
Roger: You're gonna regret this.
Prue: Oh, I don't think so. I thought breaking up with you was the best thing
I'd ever done. But this definitely tops that. Goodbye, Roger.
(She turns and leaves towards the door.)
Roger: I hope there are no office supplies in your purse. (She stops and
wraps her hands around an imaginary neck. Roger's tie tightens around his neck
and starts strangling him. He opens his draw and finds a pair of scissors. He cuts
the tie off.) What the hell was that?
[Scene: On the sidewalk. Piper's in a phone booth.]
Piper: Phoebe, answer the phone. Answer the phone. (She hangs up and
walks out of the booth. Jeremy walks up to her.) Oh, God, Jeremy you scared me.
Jeremy: I-I can see, I'm sorry. You okay?
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