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THE WRITING PROCESS
Strengthen important points by expressing them in short or unusual sentences. Learn to position so that interrupt a sentence and throw greater weight on important ideas. Look for unsupported generalizations. Even when it is clear, a generalization gains value from illustrative detail.
Sharpen your diction. Avoid awkward repetitions of the same word. Replace vague abstract terms with precise ones having richer, more provocative connotations. Watch for fail-ures of tone: don`t offend readers and don`t strike poses.
Be alert for errors in grammar and usage and in spelling and typing. Make sure your punctuation is adequate and con-ventional, but no more frequent than clarity or emphasis re-quires. Guard against mannerisms of style. All of us have them: beginning too many sentences with "and" or "but"; interrupting the subject and verb; writing long, complicated sentences. None of these is wrong, but any word or sentence pattern becomes a mannerism when it is overworked. One "however" in a paragraph may work well; two attract a reader`s notice; three will make him or her squirm.
As an example of revision let`s look again at the opening of our imaginary essay.
Dull opening. Perhaps: "Dee and Jack are an at-tractive couple...."
Not important enough for a main clause
have some friends in their late twenties.
Chicago, where he is starting
out as a lawyer and she as an accountant.
Both are presently junior members of large
firms, but they are and hope
Poor emphasis and wordy
New paragraph
committed to their careers, eager to move ahead eventually either to track upward in their
1 companies or to get out on their own. They
live together; they say they are in love,
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and they seem to be. But they are surpris-
The point is that marriage is not a likely prospect.
ingly cool about it and about the
possibility
of marriage. "Well," Dee says, "I
have my career and Jack has his. It`s good
New sentence for emphasis
New paragraph
Wordy
"Repelling" is too strong.
we`re together, but who knows where
Or
we`ll be in two years how we`ll feel?" find
Their coolness surprises me. find it unsettling
and yet a bit repelling. admire their
good sense. Still, think to myself, should
young love be so cool, so rational, so prag-
matic? Is such good sense at so youthful an
age purchased at too great a price?
New paragraph
Dee and Jack
My friends are not, believe, unusual,
Wordy and awkward
not certainly among young, college-ed
educated professionals. The lack of
emotionalism seems the dominant tone of their song of emotional and
love.
about at least dominant tone
Rework these rhetorical questions; they seem heavy-handed and jar the infor-mal tone.
of their
the attitudes
How is it different from
grew up with, the attitudes of
the sixties? And why is it different? These
are the questions want to consider.
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THE WRITING PROCESS
Here now is the revision:
Dee and Jack are an attractive couple in their late
bright, well-educated, ambitious. He is starting out as a lawyer, she as an junior members of large firms, they are commit-ted to their careers and eager to move ahead.
They live together. They say they are in love, and they seem to be. But they are cool about it, and about the possibility of marriage. "Well," Dee says, "I have my career and Jack has his. It`s good that we`re together, but who knows where we`ll be in two years? Or how we`ll feel?"
find their coolness admirable, and yet a bit unsettling. Should young love, think to myself, be quite so cool, so rational, so prag-matic? Is good sense at so youthful an age purchased at too high a price?
Dee and Jack aren`t unusual, not among college-educated young professionals. Low-keyed emotionalism seems the dominant tone of the contemporary song of love. It`s all very different from the attitudes shared in the sixties. It occurred to me to wonder why.
don`t think there is any single, simple reason.. . .
Probably you wouldn`t write such extensive marginal notes to yourself, but those in example suggest how you should be thinking. The revisions are toward precision, emphasis, and economy.
How many drafts and revisions you go through depends on your energy, ambition, and time. Most people who publish feel they stopped one draft too soon. Many teachers and ed-itors are willing to accept corrections so long as they are not so numerous or messy that they interfere with reading. Some, on the other hand, do want clean is, pages with no corrections, additions, or deletions.
Final Copy
Whether or not you are allowed to revise it, your final copy should always be neat and legible. Keep margins of an inch or more. If you type, use standard typing paper and type on
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DRAFTS AND REVISIONS
only one side. Double space and correct typos by erasure or tape, not by overstriking. Keep the keys clean and invest now and then in a new ribbon. If you write in longhand, use con-ventional, lined composition paper. Unless directed other-wise, skip every other line and write only on one side. Leave adequate margins for corrections and comments. Take time to write legibly. No one expects a beautiful copperplate hand, but it is fair to ask for readability.
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The Essay
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