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- DOLCE VITA (French) SWEET TIMES
I met her on the net, how?
I can't remember, but it seems to me that it is this 'little theory' which I declared in
the cyberspace that caught her attention.
"If I have a million dollars, I would buy a house. Do I have a million?"
"No. That's why I don't have a house."
"If I have wings, I can fly. Do I have wings?"
"No. So I can never fly."
"If all the waters are drawn out of Pacific Ocean, but it still can't put off the flame of
love between us. Can all the waters of Pacific Ocean be drawn off?"
"No. That’s why I don't love you."
That's me, a typical science student. First, you come up with an assumption, then
you fit a suitable conclusion.
If the proposed assumption doesn't stand at all, then everything is just bullshit. I
guess this is what they call 'unromantic'.
But she is an exception. She actually mailed me and said that I am an 'interesting'
person.
'Interesting’? What a word to use on me, it's like using 'faithful' on Mr. Clinton. I
thought this gal must be a lowIQ organism, or suffering from serious brain
damage.
Anyway, her nick doesn't seems so bad
FLYNDANCE
That’s quite a unique one.
But I was warning myself: Hello, this is the virtual world of Internet. Who knows
what might be lurking behind a beautiful nick.
Talking from experience, most of the time it will be a 'dinosaur' in disguise, the only
differences will be whether it is a carnivore or a herbivore. But, I know she is way
different from a 'dinosaur', she is special.
So I guess its time for the appearance of FlyNDance.
Ever since she mailed to tell me that I am 'interesting', I was always wishing to
- meet her in #ajcrr. Too bad, lady luck was just not on my side. So I can only reply
her letter to tell her that I will start to train myself to become an 'interesting' person,
just to show that she is farsighted.
She replied my reply, I replied her reply to my reply, she again replied my reply to
her reply.....blah blah.....blah....
Oh no, I just started a chainreaction!
Actually what interested me the most is this 'para' she wrote in one of the mails....
'I dance slightly, amidst the crowd.
Your glance on me be it surprise, be it admiration, It ain't gonna stop my rhythm.
'Cos it's not your glance that made me dance, it's my heart of youth.'
I simply cannot relate this gal to any of the 'dinosaurs'.
But if she really is a dinosaur, I am willing to let her have her fill.
Tye, my best pal unfortunately, noticed my little affair with FlyNDance, and has
been perpetually warning me about this....
"HELLO!!! You don't even know what she looks like, why take the risk? Maybe
'she' is a guy!! Haha!!"
I can't blame Tye for his ignorance. Ever since he was dumped by Sally in Sec 4,
he has become a renowned 'playboy'.
As the saying goes: "Once bitten, Twice shy".
In this case, after Tye was bitten, he has mastered the art of skinning snakes alive,
and make into soup. But he got all the factors to be a playboy, I always think he is
the 19 yearold version of Brad Pitt.
Tall, handsome and got this tongue that causes diabetes in every women he
targets. I don't think he can even remember how many girlfriends he had .
I went online that night, log onto #ajcrr and..... Yesh!! She is there!!
Before I can get over the surprise and the daze, she sent me a message.....
"hey slorr...so late liao haven't slept ahh??"
Now what? Now what??!! Ok ok, I had to calm down first. I swallowed hard on my
saliva, took a few deep breath.
Now where is that Tye when I needed him most at such crucial moment,
somebody to tell me what to say to her.
How am I going to attract her with my pathetic humour which has gone stale.
"slorr... me in a foul mood today...can't sleep.. u leh??"
MOTHER'S (direct translation to Chinese), what slorr slorr...
- now when I read it twice in a row, I am beginning to feel disgusted in that nick Tye
gave me. Tye said that: "Who knows? It might attract some innocent gals into
talking to you.... Haha...."
"I am not feeling very good too.... so let's sad together."
Finally squeezed a sentence out, but I can already feel droplets of sweat forming
on my forehead.
Actually I m not in a bad mood, I just wanna follow up her topic that's all.
And if she ask for the reason for my feeling down, I can say:
"since u r feeling down, how can I ever be happy?"
I know it sounds mushy, but Tye said: "MUSHYNESS IS THE FUNDAMENTAL TO
ALL COURTSHIP."
And gals are a very weird species, they trust their ears far more than their eyes.
So instead of doing 10 things to impress her, why not just say a sentence to move
her.
"ok... but u haven't greet me leh..."
DAMNIT! How can I forget simple manners to gals. To think they call me 'MR
COURTEOUS' in school.
If this thing ever leaks out in school, I would lost all my female fans.
"nice to meet u...miss longhair..."
I've been wishing that she's keeping long hair.
Tye said that:
"FlyNDance...hmm...she would either be longhaired or a desperado, because
when gals dance, only 2 parts of them may fly: hair and skirt.
So if she doesn't has long hair, that means her skirt flies when she dances, AH
HA!! This has a certain sexual hint in it... haha.."
"heh? how u know I got long hair?"
BINGO!! Heaven is on my side this time. It goes to prove that she is not a
DESPERADO. Yesh!!
"not only that....I also know u seldom wear skirt...."
I increased the stake, if I am correct this time, peace on earth forever.
- "err... I guess u r rite lor.. but how u know one?"
HAHAHAHAHA.... I m good ahh...
"just guess..."
"ok lor... hey slorr... tell u wat.. me tired liaoz... u
coming online tomorrow morning??"
"ya... y??.."
Please...please...please say the u coming too, if not I m going to kill myself for
letting u go tonight.
"I’ll see ya tomorrow at 10 am then...good night..."
"er.. should be today at 10 am.. ok.. good night too"
I just blurted out a last sentence....
Offline. Suddenly I was so impressed by my performance just now.
But is the season of spring really arriving for me? I wish....
"slorr... what a coincidence ahh..."
"yeh... I m not late."
"ya lor... so qiao.."
Gals are weird, I thought we already had an arrangement, why do I have to
pretend that its not.
They must have watched too many movies, and like to think that guys they met
due to the thing called 'fate' is the best thing that can happen to their love life.
"slorr.... u talking nonsense lah..."
"NONSENSE??? ok, let me tell u what nonsense... Summer's beach, the guy must
be good at running, with broad shoulders, dark complexion with a tint of redness,
sparkling eyes and loud laughter.
Then he will call out loud the name of the gal, running towards her, carry her and
spin 3 rounds anticlockwisely."
"slorr.... u siao liaoz ahh??"
"I siao? Ok...let's change a location then. Deep in the mountains, the guy must
have long hair, gotta have the look of an artist, carries a sketching stand, a few
pieces of drawings, and u can see birds stop over at his side, admiring his work.
and there will be a gal whose the model....most probably naked."
"slorr.. but these all very romantic mah..."
- "ROMANTIC?? hello miss... romance only survive in novels and movies.
In real life, the guy on the beach may step onto broken glass or the gal may be too
heavy which tore his arm muscles.
Birds may just clear their waste on top of the guy in the mountains, or he might get
a thrashing from the gal because he comments on the excess fats around the
waist and hips."
"slorr... u hate romance??.."
"I hate romance? nope, I m just using my knowledge of statistic to get a deduction,
that guys must be TALL to be romantic, not HANDSOME!!! some love novels even
portrayed the guy as normal looking, but noone dares to challenge the height of
him! I object....because I m not tall."
"slorr.... objection overruled..."
I think I am really outstandingly bo liao, talking to her about these until noon.
"slorr... are u hungry?..."
"ya... u leh??...."
"yesh... guess its time for lunch...slorr.."
"then do u think we should....??"
"slorr... I m just asking... I dun intend to have lunch with u..."
"ok, good.. I m not romantic... neither are u."
I had lunch with Tye, we talk about the conversation with FlyNDance this morning.
"You moron...told her you are not romantic...you siao ah?....you have disgrace we
man... how can you make such a big
mistake?....I...I..."
Tye grabbed a chicken wing with chopstick, and I can see the trembling of the
hand and the wing.
"There are 3 'don'ts' in chasing a gal... one...don't forget to be romantic...
two...don't be too honest... 3...don't be too stingy on the sugar in our speech...
noticed number 1, you stupid??
"What rubbish is that? In mandarin we say 'nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai', you
should know this..."
"This I know, but it has been a controversial topic over centuries. Women aren't
really that...cheap... so why would they only falls for 'bad guys' like me??"
- "That's because 'bad guys' are usually romantic... Those 'nice guys' are
usually...dumdums...so she would rather choose a romantic 'bad guy' rather than
any of those dumdums... in Maths we call this 2C1...understand? Dumdum.."
Oh, Tye is talking about Maths!! Now I understand. No wonder I have always been
left on the shelf.
"In another words... gals wouldn't mind if you are not tall...if you are not
handsome... they can bear with your inconsiderate acts...can forget your
stupidity...but they can never forgive if you are not romantic..."
"Come on, this is so exaggerating."
"Hey...most women have a 'knot' for romance...just like most men have a 'knot' for
virginity...to women they just can't understand how precious the thin layer of
membrane is to men, same thing, men can't imagine how important women treats
romance."
"This is bullshit! How come I've never heard of that."
"The key word is 'knot'...if u can untie it... fine.. but how many had actually
succeeded in that... practically none..."
"Ok, fine. now I've done it... so what should I do to remedy the situation?"
"Face it...you are hopeless already... I promise you I'll have a drink with you when
you and her are over..."
"YOU SON OF A BITCH."
Midnight. I am trying to concentrate on my Physics notes....
F = ma, v = u + at....
it's really a wonder that nature can be explained by just a few formulas and
equations, and this we call science.
then why is astrology and palmistry being labeled as superstitious?
Science should only be one of the ways to explain truth, what can't be explained by
Science, it doesn't necessary mean that's its unreal....
Close to 1am. Since I can't get anything into my head, I shall try my luck on net
then, maybe she is there...
"slorr...u here"
"finally... good night to u... .."
- 'FINALLY'? Strange word to use it here. What is she doing here at this hour? Must
be feeling down again.
"yes... it is fate that brought me to u at this moment..."
I am trying very hard to convince her that I m a bit romantic.
"slorr... nothing to do with fate...I waited 4 u 4 one hour liaoz..."
"sure or not?.. for wat?.."
"talk to u mah...or else I can't sleep..."
"u sick izzit?... go see doctor lah... "
"slorr....let's continue our topic.. wat do u think of relationships began from
internet?..."
Oh my god... how should I answer her now?
"it's.. it's very... romantic..."
Indeed I am not a good liar, even my words are shaking now.
"slorr... u bluffing... u not romantic one mah..."
GAME OVER!! I m finished! No choice but to drink with Tye.
"slorr.... u lagging?... or just daoing me?..."
"no... I m wondering y is the sky so chio tonight?.."
"nonono... dun try to shift the topic... slorr..."
Sigh...I give up...I asked for it myself.
"Actually I think relationships started from cyberspace is considered as
ROMANTIC, 'coz romance gives pple an impression of unreal, and cyberspace is
virtual."
"slorr....that's interesting.."
"surfers keep a safe distance from each other and usually 3 types of pple are
produced in this way...
The 1st type.... The 1st type being those who present themselves on net with their
'secondary personality'. Usually all of us consists of multiple personalities, and in
everyday life, what we present to the world is the 'primary personality', with the
secondary one being suppressed, or maybe we don't even realised this other trait
of us deep inside. So internet is the place where this side of us is revealed, both
intentionally or without conscious knowledge."
"izzit true?... wat about 2nd type?"
"The 2nd type are those who will transform themselves into the kind of
- man/woman he/she would want to be. there's bound to be 1 or 2 characteristics
that u particularly admire, too bad, sometimes these characteristics are just
couldn’t be found in u. cyberspace is the perfect location for this transformation to
occur."
"slorr.... u blowing cow izzit?.. type 3 leh?"
"I m not blowing cow, I read it from an article of TIMES mag!! type 3 will be those
who transform themselves into characters which are impossible for them to
become in real life. for example, if u r a gal, you may act as a man on net. you may
even become BATMAN or SUPERMAN if u want."
"hmm.. that’s pretty amazing..."
"the 1st type is the 'faithful' type, 'cos its his own personality that is being presented
on net.
the 2nd type is the 'foolish' type, 'cos he knows only how to admire others, always
forgets his own strong pts.
the 3rd type is the 'pathetic' type, 'cos he is wishing 4 some impossible."
"slorr.... den u belong to wat type?... me leh?.."
"I dun wish to believe u r type 3, 'cos I m not. I crossed the possibility of type 1 'cos
its too common, because I think u r special. being able to attract u, I think I m at
least a bit special. So we belong to type 2."
"type2.... den who u wish to become?.. slorr.."
I certainly would like to become a person like Tye, humorous, romantic and
eloquent, because these are wat I am lacking of.
"slorr.... wat about me?.."
"U?.. I dun know. U want to FLY and DANCE, problemably that means u wish to
fully enjoy ur youth while u can. but if this is something u wish yet u can't achieve,
den there's 2 possibilities: 1, u r aging, 2, u r leaving the world."
I think I said something wrong, because she didn't sent me anymore msg after this.
I began to blame myself for being so perverted, why talk about these things?
I should have discussed with her whether ZOE or FANN, who should be the queen
of Caldecott Hill. damn that TIMES mag, poison my mind. Maybe she's lagging. so
I waited... and waited. Although it's just a few minutes, but it felt like several hours.
I want to apologize, but do not know how to start until she sent me this msg:
- "slorr... lets meet..."
Without hesitation, I used the hand that I had used it over 18 years to wipe my ass,
typed 'OK'.
I am supposed to meet FlyNDance tonight, 8pm, at the entrance of Macdonalds,
the one beside YMCA. that's the best time and place to meet a gal you have never
met before, according to Tye, because they would have taken their dinner by that
time which means we can simply go inside the Mc and have some fries and coke.
She will be wearing a whole set of coffee theme attire and I will be wearing my
usual blues, this is our way of identification.
She told me she is not those 'cute gals' I may think she is, I said never mind, I am
not BradPitt either. then she told me she has long ago given up on this hope
already.
"slorr... u r early..."
While I was idling, a gal tapped my shoulders from my back. Although I was
already mentally prepared for anything that's gonna appear in front of me, I was
still astonished by this gal who stood in front of me now.
if not for the coffee theme and that 'slorr', I would think she is only asking for
directions because she is one of those chio buz that can only be found on Orchard
Road, usually while I am crossing the road. Maybe I suffered from a serious
concussion due to the heavy blow, my mind was extraordinarily calm.
"Had your dinner right?.. I think we shall go inside the Mc 1st..."
"You are pretty smart huh?... a good way to save money indeed..."
AIYA!~!... she knows me soooo well, I can only give her an innocent smile back.
Since she's so pretty, I ordered 2 LARGE cokes, and even ordered TWO packets
of fries.
"This time you treat, next time I'll let you treat..."
I m not falling for that, miss... but I m glad she mentioned 'next time'.
"slorr... r u disappointed when u saw me just now?.."
DISSAPPOINTED?... r u drunk?..
"why do you think I will be disappointed then?.."
"Because I told you I am not cute mah, so you must be quite disappointed when
- you saw me.."
She is making 0 sense, but I know she is just trying to hint that she's actually cute.
"Then why did you have to lie that you are not cute?"
"Slorr...I said I am not cute...I didn't say I am not pretty.."
#$%$##%^*&%$@!!!
"But you are also quite....decent looking what.. its not like what you described to
me too.."
'DECENT'? a very vague word. to many gals, decent = boring.
one good thing is that she didn't lie to me about the fact that she is keeping long
hair. She also has a fair complexion which reminds me of HL milk I take almost
everyday.
It is now only that I found out she is from ACJC, but had spent her 1st 3 mths in
AJ.
sitting in front of each other, we talk about many things. from her obsession with
coffee to my hobby of watching movies in. Btw, she had completely shook off my
misconception of 'if she is pretty, she is brainless'.
she appears to be an attractive gal, both physically and character wise, talking,
smiling to me, occasionally being a little sarcastic and nasty.its like a dream.
We left the Mc at around 10 pm. since its still early, I decided to send her home
and fortunately, its just Ang Mo Kio, two MRT stops from mine. I would have a
second thought if she's staying at Pasir Ris.
"slorr... congratulations.... u r officially permitted to date me from now on..."
She said this b4 the lift door closed. Back at home, I realized that I hadn't asked for
her real name, maybe its the influence of that stoopid Tye.
Tye told me :
"never ask a pretty gal her name the 1st time u meet her, 'cos there are oredi too
many wolves out there dying to know, so she will be more interested in you if u act
bochap..."
Then y didn't she ask for mine? dun tell me there's a female version of Tye telling
her not to?
it's again 1am. time to meet her in ajcrr.
- "hi!... slorr.. u tired?..."
Of 'cos I m tired after all the surprises she presented me, I would go straight for my
bed if not for her. but y is she here also?...isn't she tired too?..
"long time no see.. how r u?.."
"slorr u siao ah?... 2 hours only leh.. miss me?..."
"A)yes.. B)of 'cos.. C)abuden...D)dying to see u...E)all of above.... answer is E...
""; ..."
Seems like she is really tired, even the smiling face are yawning to me rite now.
"u wanna go for a movie tomorrow?.."
Maybe I should ask her now, while she is half asleep, hoping that she will blur
blurly click 'OK'.
"should be no problem... what show?..."
HOOOOORAY!!... I m cheering for her fatigue.
"we decide what show tomorrow... anyway what’s important is watch with who...
not the show.."
Tye's fav line, I m just borrowing it.
"; ..."
"u should go sleep now lah..."
"wait one little while... u haven't tell me u tired or not?.."
"ok lah... a bit.... u leh?.."
"I m exhausted.... but have to say good night to u 1st...slorr.. if not I can't sleep.."
"me too...."
I can't believe I m doing this SILLY business rite now....
"ok I tell u what.... I count 1,2,3... then we log off together..."
"ok.... good night slorr..."
"same to u.."
"1...."
"2..."
"3.."
I never talk whenever I m inside a cinema, and now is the best time for my mouth
to rest, so I spent the following 3 hours to admire this muchtalkedabout movie of
the century, Titanic.
I m not a romantic person, so its perfectly understandable if I can't really
- appreciate this motion picture fully, except for those stunning special effects. But
something stroke me when Jack said to Rose before he sank into the deep.....
"Rose, listen to me... listen....winning that ticket was the best thing that had
happened to me...it brought me to u....and I m thankful, Rose....I m thankful...."
Suddenly I felt much fortunate than Jack, 'cos I dun have to risk my life to board
Titanic, all I have to do is to switch on my PC every night.
But he's one lucky guy too, 'cos he knows how to draw, and just look at how slowly
he was drawing Rose, that made me blame myself for the lack of this talent. But to
her, this movie wasn’t just about drawings or special effects.
I noticed that packet of tissue paper she was holding in her hand. and just when
Rose said:" I promise... I will never let go, Jack... I’ll never let go.."
She opened up her sling bag and here comes the reserve handkerchief. Damn that
Celine Dion, y on earth did she had to sing that "MY HEART WILL GO ON" at the
end of the show, for all the female species inside the theater, its like "MY TEARS
WILL ALSO GO ON"
"Ok... movie ended... lets go...."
I stood up, speak to her gently, worried that every single word I breath out might
just crush Onto her, and kill her. she continued to sit on the position, looked at me
with her beautiful eyes that just came back from a swim. after a while, she said...
"slorr.... movie ended..... but life goes on.. m I rite?..."
I nodded my head... but I just wished somebody might give me some clue of what
she was saying. Finally we managed to leave Orchard Cineplex, since its still
early, we decided to take a walk down the street.
along the way, she seems unusually quiet. so I guess Tye was rite about the
'TITANIC FLU', he said that gals often got so mentally distressed after watching
this show, and it is the best time to launch an emotional attack on her, that’s y Tye
had watch Titanic for over 5 times roughly. her eyes were focussed on the path or
the crowds but I know her mind was still left on Titanic, sinking with her, waiting for
somebody to pull her up.
- I just kept my mouth shut 'cos I know I m not a good swimmer. we walked to Plaza
Singapura. suddenly she stopped in front of a Christian Dior counter.
"slorr.. have u read a novel called 'fragrance'?..."
"err.. nope.... y do u ask?..."
"look at this 'DOLCE VITA' from Christian Dior... its what the guy bought for her
girlfriend in the story on her birthday....and he told her 'DOLCE VITA' is French,
meaning 'SWEET TIMES'..."
She pointed to a bottle of perfume at the counter, but I was more interested at the
price tag around the neck of the bottle.
"oh... izzit?..."
"slorr... then do u consider today as 'sweet times'...?"
"at first I do... but some pts are deducted since u started crying..."
"that means it can only be considered a little bit sweet, I’ll buy the small bottle
then..."
I insisted to pay for the perfume as her bdae present from me since I know her
birthday is coming soon, this kinda saves me a lot of trouble of finding a present for
her. luckily its just perfume, I would have to pawn my underwear if that guy in the
story gives her girlfriend diamond or gold bar."
"r u hungry?.... wanna sit down and have something?..."
"I dun have appetite... what about u?.."
"you eat, I eat...."
Her eyes are red again...... I m such a fool. finally got away from the noisy crowd at
the MRT station, walking on one of the streets of AMK Ave 6. contrastingly, its so
quiet now that I even can hear the rhythm of her heartbeat.
"slorr... do u know what's the correct way of applying perfume?"
I shook my head. in fact, I had never used a perfume or cologne before, medicated
oil maybe.
"1st u apply some behind ur ears... then ur neck and wrists...after that spray some
onto the air, then walk through it..."
"sure or not?... in that case this little bottle wont even be able to last u for 3
days...."
- "slorr.. shall we try?..."
"'we'?... u go ahead... I m a MAN..."
She opened up that DOLCE VITA...behind her ears, neck then the wrist she
applied some... and she really did spray some onto the air!!...
WABIANGZ!!.. expensive leh!... finally she stretched out her hands... facing up...
like enjoying the raindrops falling on her face...
"hahaha...."
"slorr... this is so fun!.... now its ur turn...."
She went through the same procedures with me and I can feel the coldness of her
fingers. maybe its the perfume... I guess.
"slorr... get ready... I m going to spray!!..."
I imitated her.. face up...and walked through my 1st perfume rain.
"slorr...lets have another round!!..."
" WHAT!!... serious?.."
My money isn't easy to come by leh!!.... b4 I can collect the broken pieces of my
heart, she had walked through her second round. She was even more excited this
time, hoping around, like her nick.... a flying and dancing butterfly. late night of
AMK, the streets smells unusually nicer rite now until we finished the whole of that
DOLCE VITA.
"DOLCE VITA is exhausted... I guess this sweet time shall end now too....slorr.. I’ll
go up now.... tonight 1am. I wont be online, and u r not to do so too..."
"huh?....but why?...."
"go online at 12pm tomorrow.. u will know....remember... only 12pm..."
She turned and walked into the lift... at the same time... I saw an obvious pink
patch behind her neck... which is visible only now becos she tied her hair. I looked
up towards her window on the 4th floor from below, but it never light up.
I switched off the light in my room... engulfed in the absolute darkness... 'cos I
wished to have the same kind of feeling as her right now... I realised in complete
darkness... the easiest mood one gets... is loneliness.. she must be lonely rite
now... half asleep..
I almost can see a beautiful butterfly.. turning to ashes amidst the sea of flame...
and that patch behind her neck.. from pink it became red... and then burgundy..
- slowly.. it swallowed me.... was it the cause of that can of beer just now?...
suddenly I felt cold... and shaky.. and that coolness seemed to have come straight
from my heart... the rate of my heartbeat was an exponential function of time as it
got closer to 1am...
USE A DIFFERENT NICK!!...
checked .. she isn't there.... my heart was beating fast... but the temp remained
below healthy level........
=~@~=
Finally its 12 pm, excited as I was, logged on the net, yet there was still no sign of
FlyNDance. But there’s a mail from her......
Dear slorr,
At first I thought it will be easier for me to settle down in the darkness... recollecting
memories we have shared... but all I felt was loneliness...... can u feel it too?...
I still can't change the habit of logging on at 1am... so I used a different nick to
sneak into AJCRR... u dun blame me right?... ... u weren’t there... should I feel
glad for ur obedience?.... U said both of us belonged to TYPE 2... the foolish
type...maybe u r right!... 'cos I really do admire those who dares to fight for their
desires... I stroke my hair gently when u said that I m leaving the world... and a few
strands of hair fell..... No!... doctor told me its not a terminal disease... and doctor
aren't supposed to lie!!?...I still can live like a normal person...
BUT CAN I?..
FlyNDance... is it really something I wont be able to do?... After the 1st meeting
with u at Mc... I started to realise that u r not only a virtual being living in the
cyberspace... in reality u r strong, gentle and sensitive.... I can feel the defense
Wall of my heart is slowly breaking apart.... I m defeated...
I tied my hair today.. 'cos my fren told me that I look more attractive this way...
I want u to remember my face as it is today... 'cos after today... everything may
change.... But why didn't u ask for my real name? ..that’s why I never asked for
urs...
- I am a girl mah..... do you realized how I wish to have something more than a nick
to take along with me? ...Slorr... thank you for the DOLCE VITA. Finally got a taste
of what sweet times are like... but I am really sorry.
??.I just couldn’t bear to say goodbye.....
Since it started from a mail.... it should end with a mail too.... Its been 3 months
and 2 days since the very first mail... not a very long time but it isn't short either....
our story began from me... and I will end it.
Maybe its what you said... 'Internet is fast and convenient, but it isn't perfect'.... I
can send you my thoughts right away... but not my tears...
It’s about 5.30am now.... time to go.... by the time you receive this mail...
I would be trying to settle down somewhere else.... I don't know....
Good Bye
With lotsa love,
FlyNDance
After reading her mail, I felt as if I had just experienced a rollercoaster ride which
almost derailed. She had shown me the other side of her, soft and sensitive.
For a couple of months, I was trying to hypnotizes myself, to suppress my feelings
whenever I started to think about her again. Perpetually I was telling myself, she is
just one virtual character that fly and dance in the net, but never in the real world. I
became a fugitive, escaping from my PC, escaping from the Internet and anything
that has to do with coffee. Hide myself behind the piles of lecture notes, behind the
crowd of people, trying to get rid of this thought of missing something in life.
But I failed. I found out that its not that I don't miss her, its just that I had forgotten
the passion that always comes along when you are having something hanging on
your mind all the time. Its like I cannot breathe, it?fs just that I had forgotten the
fact that I have been breathing in and out for the past 19 years.
I can hold my breath for a while, but not forever.
- I have to find her!
"Err... I am looking for ... er..FlyNDance...."
"HUH??..."
'Huh', this is the exact word I was expecting from her.
She seems to be FlyNDance's elder sister, 20++, looked quite a beauty too even
without any makeup. But of course, still can't be compared with her. I explained to
her my purpose for knocking on the door and told her that I am no stalker whom
she might think I am.
Surprisingly when I told her my disgusting nick, Slorr, she appeared to be rather
excited and quickly she scribbled something on a small piece of paper and handed
it to me.
"You should go and see her. SGH, Room 3425."
=~@~=
This is the first time I've ever stepped into the Singapore General Hospital. It's a
dustfree space, everything looked so clean, tidy and arranged.
But I don't like the feeling it gave me... I entered room 3425, she was there, in a
deep sleep. I stood by her, watching.
Her hair was still as long as before, laying across the soft, white pillow. Her face
looked roundish now, I know it's the sideeffect of the medicine. And the pinkish
red patch that was on her neck, had spread to her face appearing in a shape of a
butterfly.
Nevertheless, she was still the most beautiful butterfly I've ever seen. Her
eyelashes twitched slightly, she must be dreaming, what's that in her dream?
McDonald's fries and coke? Sinking Titanic? Or the rain at AMK Ave 6? The room
was getting darker as the clock approaches 6pm.
I wanted to switch on the light. I hate to see her lying lonely under the shadow of a
patient's room.
But I am worried that her dreams might be disturbed by the sudden light rays.
While I was in a dilemma, her eyes opened slowly. Her eyes were wide on me,
then she turned away suddenly.
- I can only see her back at this moment. She lost weight. After a long time, she
turned to face me again, rubbed her eyes and smiled....
"Slorr, you are here!"
"Yes, nice weather today, isn't it?"
"Ya lor, sky also very chio today? Right? Heehee.."
SKY VERY CHIO...
I can still remember this was the conversation we had in one of our AJCRR
meetings."
But she didn't realize that it's raining today.
"Slorr, why are you standing there. Sit down."
Thanks for reminding me. I just found out that my legs were numbed due to the
several hours of standing.
"Slorr, you lost weight."
ME? I thought I should be the one who's telling this to her!?
"Slorr, you hungry? Had your lunch? Food here isn't so good. That's why patients
like me always slim down a bit. Apart from that, it's quite ok. But sometimes I feel
really bored without a PC here to talk to you.."
"Slorr, how's your midyear? Sure did very well right?"
WAIT A MINUTE! You are the one who's lying on bed right now not me! Yet, I had
nothing to ask her actually.
Because I was there to see her, not to find out the answers to those questions.
Maybe now its the time for me to utter some touching lines like what÷Õ in the case
of a movie.
But I am not a Romantic person... moreover...
Movies are fiction.
Life isn't.
=~@~=
I just wished that she could leave this place as soon as possible back to AMK Ave
6, back to ACJC, back to where she belonged. And I promised she won÷Ö be
alone anymore, because I will always be there.
After a while, her mum was here to see her. Around the age of 50, slightly
- overweight. Other than the cheerful smile, she didn't really remind me of
FlyNDance.
"Err, I think i've gotta go now. Bye bye auntie."
"You....You..."
She sat up straight in a sudden, like if she'd experienced a tremendous shock.
"I'll be here again tomorrow.. and the day after tomorrow... until you leave this
place..."
Before I went back home, I went to Plaza Singapura again to buy that Christian
Dior Dolce Vita... and I've got the biggest bottle this time, that she can even swim
in it.
I try not to close my eyes that night, I want to go to her as soon as the first sun ray
shoots into my room....
"Slorr.. you are here.. i've been waiting for you for a long time..."
"Had a good night's rest?..."
"Oh... I didn't allow myself to fall into a deep sleep because I know you won't wake
me up when your here."
"Then you should take a rest now."
"Err, since you are here already, I don't think I can..."
I gave her the Dolce Vita, and we'd agreed that we would dance in the rain in front
of SGH main entrance the day she's discharged.
I dare not look straight at her, because there's a butterfly on her face.
It was only last night before I leave SGH that I found out she's suffering from an
illness called ERYSIPELAS. What the clergymen would term the BUTTERFLY
DISEASE...
But what I like is the coffee butterfly that is able to dance around freely not that
pinkishred butterfly that settled on her pale complexion. Moreover, what÷Õ a
butterfly if it can't fly?
"Slorr, why are you looking at me and not talking?"
I don't know, because I noticed that she's getting weaker physically. I had a bad
feeling about this.
"Slorr, I am thirsty, can you get me a drink?"
- I am not leaving her at this moment. I can still remember a movie about this guy
who went all the way to get red bean soup for his girlfriend who's on sickbed and to
find her lying silently on the white bedsheet when he came back... never to wake
up again...
"Are you trying to get rid of me, like what's in that movie?"
"Slorr, movie is movie, life is life..."
MOVIE? LIFE?....
"But I thought you just had a drink? Anyway, so what can I get for you?"
"Ultimate Ice Blended!!"
This is a hospital leh!! Did she think I can find Coffee Bean everywhere on this
island? Like McDonalds, what's more coffee wasn't suitable for her at that time.
"Err... coffee isn't good for health, order something else, ok?
"So you know coffee isn't good for the body too. Then you should cut down on your
intake also, ok?"
I saw her smile appearing and there's a shine in her eyes. I realized that she÷Õ
just trying to tell me not to drink too much coffee in the future.
My heart seemed to have suffered from a heavy blow.
This is not good. A taste of pH7 has started to fill my nose. If this is not going to
stop, tears might be the next thing that appears in front of her.
I recalled the chapter on reservoir and dam in physics textbook. Quickly applied
the knowledge on myself. Even if it's just a few droplets.
"Ok, I promise, I'll try my best."
"And try to sleep earlier in the future and don't skip breakfast..."
"It's important to you and don't be too obsessed with blue. It makes you look
troubled and....."
This didn't sound good. It's like giving the final instructions before she. I can't bear
to let her continue.
"Ok ok, I'll go get you a drink right away."
"Slorr, is the machine far away? If it is, then its ok, I don't want it anymore."
From my mental calculation, men would take 67 steps while women would take 85
steps to reach the vending machine right at that corner. Plus the time taken to
purchase, average would take a total of 1.8 to 2.1 minutes. Not very far.
nguon tai.lieu . vn
