Men Aren’t Stupid and Nine Other Free Lessons That Will Change Your Life

Men Aren’t Stupid. and Nine Other Free Lessons That Will Change Your Life Roslyn Hardy Holcomb roslynhardyholcomb.com Men Aren’t Stupid. and Nine Other Free Lessons That Will Change Your Life Copyright July 2012 Roslyn Hardy Holcomb Published by Roslyn Hardy Holcomb at Smashwords All rights reserved. This copy is intended for the original purchaser of this e-book only. No part of this e-book may be reproduced, scanned or distributed in any printed or electronic form without prior written permission from Roslyn Hardy Holcomb. Cover Artist: Whit Holcomb This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. Introduction This book came about because I’ve been online in various forums since the mid- nineties and have in that time become something of an advice guru. Though I’ve been a counselor, therapist and social worker a lot of the advice that I give here I learned from my late mother, Edith Smith Hardy. Other lessons I learned through my life experience and that of my friends and family. Of course, if I’d listened to my mother I would have had a lot fewer hard knocks, but she always said a hard head makes for a soft behind. Over the years of counseling women both online and in real life I began to see a pattern. I was repeatedly being asked about the same issues in different iterations. To avoid redundancy, and because I’m too lazy to keep typing the same advice over and over again, I put together these Free Lessons to address the problems I kept hearing about. I’m deeply concerned about the quality of discourse between young men and women in this country. There is a level of bitterness and anger that is troubling. I suspect that much of it has come about due to social changes that we have little control over. Intellectually we know that gender roles have changed, but our biological responses to the opposite sex have not. People are more or less the same as they were five hundred years ago, or for that matter five thousand years ago. Check out the Song of Songs in the Bible. When Solomon starts talking about “your vines have sweet grapes” he’s spitting some serious game. He’s doing the same thing men are doing today––trying to get some. Though women are more independent and self-sufficient than we’ve been at any time in history our basic instincts haven’t changed. I believe that a lot of the anger we’re seeing between the sexes these days has come about because we’re being told to act as though these instincts don’t exist. Even worse, many intellectuals claim that there is no such thing as gender roles. Well, I’m not an intellectual. I’m a pragmatist and that notion seems downright foolish to me. While I agree wholeheartedly that people should not be forced into certain behavioral patterns because of their gender, I cannot deny that there are differences between the sexes. To my mind there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging and capitalizing on them. There are those who will say that these behavioral patterns are sociological rather than biological. My response is...and? Regardless of the source of the courting rituals they’ve worked for humankind for a few thousand years. Have they worked perfectly? Probably not, but the fact that we’re still here perpetuating the species indicates that it works better than the alternatives. It is far better to use them to our advantage to gain what we all want -- a loving relationship. This book will help you do just that. Free Lesson #1 Birds Do It. Bees Do It. Whilst watching Oprah a while back I came to the painful realization that an awful lot of people did not grow up as I did watching Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom every Sunday night. Or, perhaps they did and didn’t comprehend its applicability to us -- that we too are animals and our habits and rituals are not all that different from our primate brethren. On the Oprah show there was a rather obnoxious guy who nonetheless was spitting some serious knowledge about dating/mating. (He really was insufferable, but as my mama used to say even a blind hog finds an acorn every now and then.) The women weren’t hearing him though. He told them the basic truth that men are always “window-shopping” and that a woman who is looking for a man should always be attractively dressed and looking her best. This is very reasonable advice, but Gail King, who really is old enough to know better said that if you dress superficially you’ll attract a superficial man. She went on to ask, what happens later on in the relationship when you don’t always look good? Tsk, tsk, tsk. Let me go all Marlin Perkins on y’all for a minute. ALL MEN ARE SUPERFICIAL, PERIOD. Now, before folk accuse me of male bashing let me explain. We’ve been on this planet a couple hundred thousand years or so, but it’s only been in the past few thousand years that we call ourselves civilized. For most of our time here we’ve had a very difficult existence. Back in the day women stayed at home feeding the kids, while also trying to keep various godawful beasties from eating them. Men would go out and try to kill some of those same beasties to feed their younguns. Under those type circumstances you need a mate who is as healthy as possible. After all, if the mother doesn’t survive childbirth the child will die as well. And she also must be strong enough to protect your offspring while you’re gone. What are the signs of health and youthfulness in a female? Shiny hair, clear smooth skin, bright eyes and teeth. Round shapely buttocks and breasts and long legs are all indicators that a woman is of mating age. These are the things that the male of the species is instinctively looking for in ... - tailieumienphi.vn