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- When the
Discussion Gets
Stalled or Heated
Chapter 9
- Outline
Conflict Defined
Conflict Resolution Approaches
PURRR Procedure
Responding to Conflict
Handling Impasse
Conflict as a Choice Point
Identify Compatible Interests
Handling Deception
Gender Differences
- Conflict Defined
To be in opposition
To be contradictory
An open clash between two opposing groups
Synonyms:
Discord
•
Dispute
•
Struggle
•
Resist
•
- Conflict Resolution
Approaches
FastSlow Approach
• Negotiation parties rush to reach an agreement, may have
ignored important constituencies and then the agreement
faces extreme difficulties in the implementation phase
SlowFast Approach
• Negotiations are conducted slowly to ensure that the final
agreement is responsive to major constituents providing
greater speed in implementation
SlowSlow Approach
• Time is taken to consider, select and apply solutions
- PURRR Procedure
Pause when formulating
judgment
Understand what was meant by
actions or words
Reflect on information and ask
for additional information
Reinterpret by applying an
alternate explanation
Redirect conversation toward
goals
- Responding to Conflict
Maintain even disposition
Ask clarification questions
Delay with process not contention
Seek advancement on less contentious issues and return to
others later
Reposition or frame in positive, mutualgain terms
Frame differences as natural
Find common ground through value linking
Emphasize what has been accomplished
Encapsulate conflict issues
Avoid petty issues
Meet halfway
- Handling Impasse
Take a break to develop strategies
Define cost consequences if agreement is not reached
Reconsider outcomes to be accomplished
Lower your dependence on them and increase their
dependence on you
Break problem into smaller parts
If impasse is on substance, focus on process – how to proceed
from here
If impasse is on process, try the shared text approach
Keep power in your pocket (e.g. attorney, credible reference)
Keep the door open
- Conflict as a Choice Point
Explore whether conflict is a signal for
a change
View the disagreement as a choice
point and explore options for moving
forward – what comes next?
Utilize framing
- Identify Compatible Interests
Focus on commonality rather than
differences
Try to find shared goal – leading to a
cooperative strategy
- Handling Deception
Levels of deception
• Benign deception – used in the service of
politeness in order to avoid offense
• Strategic deception – planned deceptions whose
purpose is to achieve some advantage through
the skillful management of information sharing
• Ulterior Motive deception – purpose is to achieve
some gain without divulging one’s intention
Deception Continuum
Benign Strategic Ulterior Motive
- Benign Deception
Puffery in building one’s credibility
Falsely implying a relationship with a competitor
Giving impression of greater knowledge
Creating impression that something is of greater
value
Giving an impression of wealth or competence
through appearance
Disclosing “private” information
Omitting or downplaying less attractive aspects of
offer
- Strategic Deception
Agreeing to do something you may not be
able to do
Bluffing
Fogging or confusing an issue
Misrepresenting by omission
Making additional small requests after an
agreement has been made
Feigning the scarcity of an item
- Ulterior Motive Deception
Lying
Creating impression others will think poorly of them in order to
gain compliance
Threatening someone with power you don’t possess
Switching sides on an issue to create confusion
Suggesting you will provide something of value you don’t
intend to deliver
Offering false flattery
Intimidating other side with false claims
Making intentional misrepresentations
Pretending to be angry, insulted or annoyed to induce
cooperation
- Gender Differences
Dysfunctional
communication
patterns may occur in
malefemale
interactions
Identify dysfunctional
patterns and seek to
break pattern
Don’t fall victim to
stereotypes
- Gender Differences
• Dismissive – interrupting, talking over, ignoring
{men engage more frequently than women}
• Exclusionary – leaving someone out of the
meeting, discussion or social gathering
• Undermining – going behind the back of others or
using insults to discredit arguments
• Retaliatory – used when other party feels
threatened
• Patronizing – use a condescending tone {happens
more to women}
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